How Long Is Forever? - Merthur

almost too many years

Years started to go as quickly as seconds.

He tried to be there for gwen, to see the kingdom she'd build. But as Gwen's gray hairs showed, and tiredness underneath the eyes grew, the same thing happened with his friends and he knew it was time to go. He wanted to be there, see them in their last moments. But he couldn't handle losing anyone else.

He said his farewells and held them close to his heart.

Merlin mostly tried not to think to much.

That was a hard thing for him, seeing as though everything amazed him. He always wanted to learn more.

But as he tried not to think as much, the more the everyday changed. Technology emerged more and more.

And one day he looked up, not knowing what year it is, he found that it was finally the 1900s.

Arthur surely has to come back now?

Merlin never traveled far, but oh how badly he wanted to explore. And when he finally did, he was so afraid that Arthur would come back when he was gone. But when he came back, it was all the same.

He knew everyone he knew was gone by now. Part of him wished that he stayed. Part of him was grateful.

He kind of liked this era though. The music, the fashion. He still didn't understand cars though, he'd still try to ride horses whenever he could, but he found that it cost money, money he didn't have.

He decided not to stay in one place for too long though. He found likings to thinks he didn't think he'd like.

As it neared late 1900s, he found that he enjoyed drive in movies. He hoped one day to share it with Arthur.

He tried to find jobs, but they never lasted. Part time cashier, help farm. He wanted to get back into science and medical, like with gaius, but nobody would hire him. One he actually liked though was being a librarian. Most people found his nose buried in a book to pass the time. It was easier to read other stories then to deal with his own.

Phones were already a thing but it was still new and only the rich could afford. But they quickly started advancing.

Merlin doesn't remind the last time he saw someone else with magic. Maybe...late 1700s? He feared he was the last left.

He's back where he was 1,000 years ago. Hiding who he was.

He missed having someone to be himself with. He wish he had it with Arthur. To tell him the adventures he went on (most ended in near death) behind Arthur's back.

He hasn't had many new adventures though recently. He still tried to write everything down in his journal, the old ones too.

He once tried to find an artist to paint Arthur. Describing him as much as he could. But something was off. Maybe it was the eyes.

He tried to teach him self to paint but it ended in anger and tears.

But finally he found a liking to drawing though, adding small doodles in the Spaces of his journal. Of kilgharrah, the lake, strawberries, and a rough uncomplete sketch of Arthur.

The 1900s was finally coming to an end. And he decided to get a house of his own. It was a small house, but he didn't have much to unpack.

He still kept everything though. All his tunics, scarves. Little souvenirs he found before he left Camelot. And Arthur's cape.

After the first week, he wanted to actually learn how to cook. Food now is different then it used to be. Mostly he just ate porridge or whatever was cheapest.

He still practiced magic in private. Just little things, still butterflies, finally was able to get the strawberry right.

With more food available to him, he found that he had a sweet tooth. And his favorite was cheesecake. At the end of the week at his new house, that's what he made.

____

He ended up liking this new house, it was comforting. But it still felt empty. He packed his tunics and cape in the top shelf of a closet. He wanted to hang it on one of the walls but it was too painful to look at.

He felt centered here. Not invisible. It was nice to stop moving for once. But that did get tiring fast the more days went on. He got restless, he felt like he couldn't sleep.

But he went through it. He waited.

Now it was late 2019. And he was tired of waiting.