"Berkeley, babe, I'm going to the courthouse, I have some business to finish up." My mom walked into the living room, dressed in a pant suit. Her straightened brown hair in a tight low ponytail. I looked at the briefcase she had in her hand and rolled my eyes.
"It's eleven o'clock, what business do you have to take care of?" It was a rhetorical question, I knew she wasn't going to answer. She never did, her button nose scrunched up at me in a playful way.
She walked pass me smiling and opening the front door, "I'll be back." Was her final words as she closed the door, I could hear her heels descending.
I stand up, turning off the living room light, so she wouldn't see my shadow, and peep out the window. She did this often and what's crazy to me is that she was at work all day—what more is there to work on?
I could see my mom in her car, on the phone. She looked flustered, as if she was nervous which was the exact opposite that she was before.
"Hm." I hum, walking to the kitchen and turning on the kitchen light. My reflection stared blankly back at me from the fridge. My light brown skin is covered in what is now considered as 'meaningless tattoos.' My stomach sinks as I remember getting my first tattoo. I covered it up impulsively with another tattoo.
I checked myself out, "I'm cute." I smirk, my long legs strut towards the refrigerator. My reflection disappears and food is revealed.
My refrigerator was filled with food but only because I do most of the shopping, mom is always too busy to go out and get groceries.
I grabbed the gallon of milk, along with the Fruity Pebbles. Being the lazy bastard that I am, I pour the milk into the plastic bag of Fruity Pebbles.
My phone chimed and I was so unlucky to receive a text from Lacey, a "friend" of mine.
It read, "Where you at bitch?" I roll my eyes, responding with, "None of your business." Which resulted in her calling me.
I sigh in regret, I shouldn't have responded.
Why did I respond?
"Where you at, bitch?" She laughed through the phone, she sounded high, as always. "I'm outside of your house." She said slowly before I could answer and when her words processed, I quickly turned off the kitchen light, ducking along the way.
"I'm not home," I said lowly, eating my Fruity Pebbles.
"Why are you whispering, bitch, come on. Devin and I are finna wait for you."
She think she knows me so well.
Sighing in annoyance, I hang up and grab my jacket from the kitchen chair. I open the front door and walk fast to Lacey's car. It wasn't her car, she did not own it but she used it more often than the owner, which is Derrick, Devin's older brother.
The headlights shone on my house and as I opened the back door to the black mustang, I couldn't help but think, "What the hell am I getting myself into?"
Lacey's big blue eyes were low and had a pinkish tint. She turned to look at me as I took my seat. "I thought you weren't home." She said mockingly. Her blonde and green hair covered her face and cascaded down her shoulders onto her porcelain skin. The ring on her nose glistened as she stared at me, happiness in her eyes. Devin's head turned too but much slower than Lacey's.
My eyes took in both of their faces before they rolled.
"I'm not." It's fun to gaslight.
She rolled her eyes back at me "Looks like you ere home to me." She uttered as she backed out my driveway, fast might I add, not even taking precautions to see if any cars were coming.
Devin laughed, his pearly white teeth showing, "Damn, slow down. We'll get there." He said, rolling down the tinted window and throwing a beer can out onto the pavement. His muscles, which was covered in tattoos, flexed as his arm returned back into the vehicle.
"Shut the fuck up, Devin." Lacey said as we exited out of my neighborhood and onto the highway.
"Where we going?" I question, raising an eyebrow.
This is my life.
Leaving late at night to go to some unknown location, with people who don't care about my safety.
"Night Nether." Devin smirked before throwing me an ounce of weed from the glove department.
Devin, just like his brother, is an asshole. Well his brother is a full on asshole, Devin is like half of one. If that makes sense. Devin is Derrick's shadow and when it comes down to it, Derrick wins at everything. Two years ago, Devin got a girlfriend, she was innocent. The definition of Devin's opposite. Her family had money, he didn't, she was going to college, he wasn't.
She was his first love.
He loved her, she loved him. All his time was going to her. He was taking her out on dates, eating dinner with her family, and buying her expensive gifts—with money that wasn't his. He even talked about marrying her one day.
Derrick didn't like that.
He hated the fact that his brother was spending time away from the crew. Away from him.
He hated the fact that his brother found something he loved outside of their 'gang.'
No, he didn't kill her. That would've been tragic and far too dramatic. Instead he had sex with her, claimed her and Devin didn't do anything about it. How could he just let the love of his life go? Someone that he was dedicated to and talked about constantly. He brung her up in almost every conversation even when she had no place in it.
As I sit in the backseat I stare at Lacey.
How could she sleep with Derrick without the slightest remorse or thought of how Devin would feel?
I just didn't understand.
We pull up to the abandoned subway entrance with people from our crew hanging out in the front, laughing and joking around. They had a bonfire lit and music playing through speakers from the trunk of somebody's car.
I hop out the car, along with Lacey and Devin. She left the car running and the driver's door open.
She smiled brightly in her high state and I could see Devin taking a look at her, "Devin, come on, let's go roll this." I tell him, grabbing his arm and clenching my hand harder around the bag of weed. We sat down on a nearby cooler and I took my phone out my pocket to roll the weed on.
As I rolled the blunt to perfection in a backwood. I thought of my first love.
Where is he? What is he doing?
It didn't matter.
I didn't matter to him.
"Give me that." Devin uttered, taking the nicely rolled blunt away from me, lighting it, and putting it to his mouth. His lips rolled into his mouth as the blunt sat in between them and he inhaled deeply. His jaw flexed and I could see the veins in his neck poke out slightly.
I watched in awe as he held the smoke in his lungs before letting it out. The white smoke clouded around his caramel skin and I could see the stress leaving his body as his eyes rolled back.
His eyes turned to me and he smiled, passing it to me.
"It's gas, bro?" I smile, not hesitating to put it to my mouth and hold the smoke in my lungs before letting it out, just to take the it back in through my nostrils. It's crazy how this can take all the pain away and clear my mind. I loved the feeling when I smoked. It just felt so fucking good.
It's the only thing that gives me peace.
———
The first chapter, of many.
Support my story ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Vote (Press the small star at the bottom)
Comment (express how you feel about my story)
Do this⬆️⬆️⬆️
YOU ARE READING
How to Feel
RomanceIt was six years ago when we met. He was the bad boy next door. I was the curious girl, always finding something to get myself into. And as they say, curiosity killed the cat. He took interest in me, I took interest in him. We clicked. He hung aro...
