A Love That Killed

Chapter 1

Robert POV

I awaken to a pounding headache and sick stomach, I turn to see my newlywed wife, Katherine next to me, she is looking at me with a mixture of horror and disbelief. I immediately wonder why, what could have happened to make her look like that. I look around trying to find anything out of place our unusual, nothing. I turn back to her, she gives me a tight smile as she gently places a hand on my forehead,

"Robert, are you feeling better from last night?" She stutters in a nervous squeak.

I immediately sit up, which brings the pain of my head back into play. Do I feel better? Better from what? I just look at her stupidly, unable to recall the events of last night, I must have been drinking, it would explain the terrible headache. Furrowing my eyebrows I run a hand through my hair.

"Last night?" I try to rack my brain for the memories of last night but nothing comes to mind.

Katherine sheepishly looks down and begins to speak.

"You were drinking..you..you got angry, and I tried to you calm you down but.." She stops looking at me with her wide grey eyes, sniffling she turns her head. And that's when I see it, the black bruise, under her right eye, and another one on her jaw, judging the bruise I know that it is not a lover's bite, but a bruise from inflicted pain.

I reached to touch it but she recoils from my touch, I drop my hand feeling hurt. "Why was I angry?" I ask, because I remember nothing from last night.

She looks at me this time, a blank expression on her face, her voice is serious after she takes a deep breath, "I wanted to call off the wedding – only for a little bit –" she rushes before continuing, "just until I got some things figured out, but you wanted to go through with it and" she chokes out the last few words, not completing her sentence.

I look at her, searching her eyes trying to think why I would hurt her, more importantly why would she think I hurt her? Aren't wives supposed to be deeply in love with their husbands and aren't husbands always loving never laying a hand on their wives? I still fail to see why she would think I hurt her, it makes me angry. I pause, processing what she said. Wait, did she say she wanted to call off the wedding? Unbelievable, how dare she?

I look back at her again, furrowing my eyebrows, my anger rising, I didn't care that she thought I had given her the bruises anymore, I wanted to know why on earth she would have wanted to call off the wedding. Clenching my teeth I speak, "Call off the wedding?" I say raising an eyebrow.

She shifts get out of bed and putting a robe over her pajamas, "Honestly Robert you got your wedding whatever it's not like it was called off, we went with your choice just like you wanted okay." She glares toward me.

I stalk toward her, "What's that supposed to mean? I want to know why you wanted to call it off and you're going to tell me. Along with the fact that you seem to thing I gave you those bruises. Hmm?"

"No, you won't believe me, because that's the problem isn't it? You just expect me to do everything that pleases you, everything is about you. I'm supposed to believe every word that comes out of your mouth but mine? Mine is thrown to the side like vegetables on a plate, wake up Robert. I bet you know exactly why I wanted to call it off, or were you not listening"

My anger is rising, I have never been good with holding in my anger, and when it comes I cannot control myself. How dare she challenge me, her husband?

"Tell me."

"Fine your majesty," she says mockingly before straightening up, "I told you I was having second thoughts because I opened my eyes, I didn't want to be the scared little girl in so in love with you that I would let you do anything and come running back to you." Her eyes soften as she whispers, "I do still love you Robert, but I can't deal with abuse, I can't keep coming back to you ever time you hurt me, and lately it's been a lot and I don't know, I'm confused. I think you love me, I love you I know that and you say you do but I...I don't feel that way all the time, I'm always scared." Her face hardens once more before she says, "And I didn't want to be scared anymore. But it's okay, we're married now, we'll figure it out I suppose.'

The doubt in her voice hurts me, if I would have asked her three months earlier I know she wouldn't be saying these thing, three months ago, a time when I had never ever laid a hand on her. But then I had, once my anger gets a hold of me I can't tell the difference between someone I love and someone I hate. Katherine was bruised, not too badly but I couldn't forgive myself, I vowed that it would never happen again.

But then it did.

It was about a week later when I saw a man looking at her. I couldn't blame him, Katherine was beautiful, with soft honey colored hair, striking green eyes and high cheek bones, but she had smiled at him. My jealousy got the best of me and I hit her again.

There were a few more incident. One day I think she saw it coming.

She left that day.

And then she came back after I had begged her to come back, that's when I asked her, exactly a month ago, after a year of being with her I knew I wanted her forever.

My anger melts away as I look at her, she is pleading me with her eyes, "you don't have to be scared anymore Katherine, it's different now, we're different now.'

"Are we though? I may be, I feel different... in a broken way...but are you? Why are you breaking me?" she chokes before the tears start running down her face. "why are you so insistent on making me stay, or why won't you change for me like you said you would?"

I open my mouth to speak, to assure her but she stops me. "I don't want to hear a lie, it's too early for you to fill me with hope and build me up only to break me down again. Just give me some time." She turns to walk out as I grasp her hand, forcing her to look at me.

"You don't think it hurts me? To see all those men looking at you? To see that you have so much doubt about me, about us? You don't think it doesn't hurt me to see the women I love afraid"

"And again it's about you, open your eyes Robert, I'm not that fragile girl anymore, I may feel broken but I'm no longer fragile, I'm stronger than you want to think and you're too blinded by your own anger and doubt to see that!"

We're screaming, our faces so close, we are angry, she because of what I have done to her and I because of her doubt.

I grab her head roughly, connecting her lips with my, pouring my aggression into the kiss, she responds after a few seconds, moving hers against mine. The kiss is fast, angry, and the anger reminds me.

I push her against the wall, hard, pulling her back away from the wall and shove her to the wall again. She breaks away from me, gaping at me. I pull her back again to kiss her, confused at the look on her face. I pull her in for a hug this time over to her rubbing soothing circles on her back. I feel her stiffen under my grasp at first and my heart aches. She really thinks I would her hurt, she's afraid of, she really is.

I hear a yelp of pain escape her mouth as she squeezes her eyes shut and takes a raspy breath. Her face contorts in pain as she grabs my hand.

"Robert, you're hurting me," she squeals.

What is she talking about?

I feel a weight in my head and something possesses me to hit her back right on the bruise.

One part of my brain registers the pain, and the sadness in her eyes as she puts her head in her hands. But the other part indulges that pain. As that other part nags me saying:

What on earth have you done?

I step back, letting her out of my grasp, confusion in my mind. I put a blank face on and walk out of the room, emotionless for some reason.

I change downstairs and walk out of the house to go to work, slamming the door behind me.

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