Intimidation ♡ joshler

eighty one

an: omg you guys are so amazing thank you sm for all the love ahh! and sorry ive taken forever to update jfjffjfj

also cw for discussion of death!

<><><><><><>

There's something wrong, Tyler decides, as he nears Josh at the bus stop the next morning.

The first thing he notices is that the other boy doesn't look his way as he usually would; he keeps his head hung—the second thing he notices—as he leans against the fence behind him, and doesn't acknowledge his presence. Tyler begins to panic—did he do something wrong?

No, everything was fine last night when they told each other good night, and Tyler can't think of anything he could've done to upset him.

"Josh?" Tyler asks softly, startling the other as he finally looks his way. The smaller of the two furrows his brows worriedly; he looks incredibly tired and distraught. "What's wrong?"

Josh looks away and begins to shake his head only to stop himself with a sigh. "My parents are fucking assholes."

"Did something happen?" Tyler asks dumbly, because obviously something did, but his concern leaves no room for him to beat himself up over such minor things.

"I'll tell you on the bus," Josh starts, gesturing towards the direction of the other teenagers at the bus stop as he lowers his voice, "I might cry and I don't want them to see."

Tyler nods understandingly. Something must be very wrong if talking about it might make him cry.

As if on cue, the bus turns onto their block, and the two follow after everyone else into the bus when it pulls up. Tyler looks up to his boyfriend as they sit at their usual seat, and Josh sighs a little.

"Uh, today," Josh starts quietly enough for just Tyler to hear, not meeting the smaller boy's eyes. "It's the anniversary of Ashley's death."

Tyler's heart begins to ache for the boy beside him; he can't imagine how he feels right now—he's seen how hard it is when a loved one passes away from Zack—he wouldn't get out of bed when his friend died, and wouldn't eat the food Tyler would bring to him no matter how much he would coax him—Zack wouldn't even get angry or even acknowledge him. He would just stare up at the ceiling.

"Oh, no," Tyler says softly, unsure what else to say. "I'm so sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Josh doesn't say anything for a moment before he takes a deep breath. "Everything was fine before I left, she was alive and seemed okay. But then I come home and—" the older boy pauses as his eyes begin to well up with tears, "I knew I'd fucking cry."

"It's—it's okay to cry," Tyler assures him, hoping that he's saying the right thing—he doesn't know how to help in situations like this. But he wants to help the best he can—he hates seeing him hurting so badly, he doesn't deserve any of this.

"Ashley used to say that, too," Josh admits, and Tyler begins to worry that he said the wrong thing before he continues. "Everyone else made me feel like shit for crying, but she always encouraged it and said it was part of healing. But then she was gone and I didn't have anyone to cry with and I didn't care about healing anymore."

And Josh starts crying, so Tyler reaches out to him, gently guiding his boyfriend's head onto his shoulder, running his fingers through the soft red hair adorning it—just like what he always did for him.

"It was really scary finding her when I got back, she—" he buries his face into the brunet's shoulder as he begins to cry harder, wrapping his arms around the smaller and holding onto him tightly.

"You're very brave and strong," Tyler says as he hugs Josh with his free arm, ignoring the students looking their way as they board the bus. "I wanna do my best to help you always like you do for me."

Josh doesn't say anything, he only tightens his hold as he cries, and Tyler feels his eyes and ears begin to sting—he's gonna cry too. He wants to take away all of Josh's pain so badly.

They spend the rest of the bus ride holding each other, still clinging on tightly even after Josh stops crying.

"We're both covered in tears," Josh mutters as the bus pulls into the bus lane, and Tyler nods. The shoulder of his hoodie feels really damp. "I think I'm gonna skip."

"Want me to with you?"

"Please."

<><><><><><>

thank you guys sm again! <3