Intimidation ♡ joshler

forty four

Tyler had spent the rest of the day on the keyboard with Zack, practicing and learning new things from the more experienced man.  Zack praised him as he gradually got better at the piano—even swore he was a natural—and that motivated him further to learn how to play his piano, and added fuel to his Josh-induced elation.  

At some point during their keyboard session, Zack suggested that he "serenade Josh with his smooth tunes," though in jest, but it still left Tyler blushing furiously as he tried his best to fight off his stupid love-sick grin.  

And Zack had understood what his reaction had meant, and he had looked surprised for a brief moment before Tyler caught a glint of disappointment in the older man's eyes.

"You and Josh..?" Zack had spoke slowly, eying the younger boy, making him feel uncomfortable under the judging gaze.

He had nodded.  Zack had shaken his head.

"Jesus, Tyler, do you really think so lowly of yourself?" Zack had mumbled before turning back to the keys, and he had resumed his teaching, but there was an unpleasant atmosphere surrounding them.

And Tyler's elation had began plummeting.

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Now Tyler lies in bed at four in the morning, unable to sleep in his melancholy state.  He's noticed before that whenever he crashes from being overwhelmingly happy, he crashes hard, and all negativity he's able to brush off during his elation resurfaces and taunts him mercilessly.

And right now is no different as he tries to contain his sobs, not wanting to risk anyone hearing him.  His head pounding and his throat aching, nose stuffy and face itchy, heart grieving and mind unrelenting.

He finds himself longing for Josh, his comforting warmth and gentle touch.  Strong arms wrapped protectively around him, calloused hands soothingly rub his back as reassuring words are spoken softly in his ear.  

He wants nothing more than to be with the other boy in this moment—to at least hear his voice.

Tyler's phone ends up in his shaky hands, squinting through his blurry vision in an attempt to see the screen as he taps his way to Josh's contact.

He stops himself just as he's about to hit the call button, because what if the other boy is asleep?  What if he doesn't wanna be bothered by Tyler's whiny shit so late in the night?  What if Josh gets pissed at him for calling?  Calls him out for being clingy?  A baby?  Of overreacting?  What if Josh realizes he's made a mistake when asking him to be his boyfriend?  What if he breaks up with him?

But Josh cares.  He cares about him.  He really likes him.  

And Tyler finds himself finally tapping the call button before he can psych himself out of doing it again, shakily bringing the phone to his ear.

He doesn't have to wait long before his boyfriend's groggy, concerned voice speak from the other end of the call, "Hey, everything okay?"

And Tyler doesn't say anything, trying hard to suppress a pained sob, and he needs to calm down, he wills himself to calm down.

He shakily inhales, exhales, doing this until he's sure he'll be able to at least speak coherently.

"N-no."

He can hear shuffling from the other end before Josh speaks again, voice gentle and soothing, "Talk to me?"

"I-I was so hap-happy but now I'm s-so sad," and it's followed by a soft cry that manages to slip, and he quickly brings his hand to his mouth to try and muffle any more that may follow.

"What happened?"

Tyler takes a moment to compose himself before speaking, "Well—Zack, he-he—I'm such a h-huge disappointment—all I do is, is disappoint him and-and burden him, and I c-cause him so much trou-trouble, and my parents d-don't want me—and I-I-I—"

He stops talking when he begins to weep into the phone, and he sounds so pathetic, but Josh begins to speak again, so he focuses on that.

"Hey, I'm not good with words at all, but you know what? Fuck Zack and fuck your parents; they're spoiled as fuck and unappreciative. They're so lucky to have a Tyler Joseph in their life—and so am I. I swear on Brendon's grave, you're something special, baby boy. I've never met anyone quite like you, you know? Shit, I wish I was better with words..."

"N-no," Tyler finds himself saying, a little more calm than before, "You're perfect. Th-thank you."

"There's no need to thank me. I'm glad you called—how about I try to take your mind off what's bothering you? I'll tell you about the stupid shit I've done growing up, you'll laugh."

"Y-yeah."

And Josh begins his first story of how he and and old friend of his almost burnt his house down while they were trying to smoke paper, Tyler hiccuping every once in awhile as he finally starts to come down from his crying fits, and the younger boy swears he loves this kid more than anything.

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thanks you guys! it's late af and im tired so sorry about any mistakes heh <3