moon // jenlisa

6

jennie wakes up in the middle of the night to a phone call. she squints her eyes at the brightness, trying to decipher who it could be that's calling her on the day she actually managed to sleep.

Lili

jennie lets out a small huff, putting the phone at her ear. her voice is rough. "it's better be something serious, lisa."

"tae kissed me," lisa releases on a breath. jennie thinks this should be a happy thing. but she. can hear the tremble and shake in lisa's voice. "taehyung kissed me and─ all i could think of was you."

lisa?" jennie sit up in her bed, worry settling in her stomach. "are you okay?"

lisa lets out a shaky laugh, her breath catching and jennie can hear the soft sobs that lisa lets out. "will it always be like this unnie? will i always think of you."

"lisa-yah." jennie sighs, "baby, where are you? i'll come get you."

lisa hiccups. "i think... i think loving you was hard, especially when you won't love me back."

"lisa please─"

"no," lisa lets out forcefully. jennie hears something clatter to the floor in the background, but she remains quiet. "let me talk, please. i have to say this." she takes a deep breath.

"i love you so fucking much, kim jennie. i've loved you since the moment i first met you. i've loved you since the first time you said hello, and i loved you more every time after that. i love you so much that it feels like it's impossible to care about someone as much as i care about you. i love you, and i want you to be happy, but is too much to ask that you be happy with me? i know that you can love unnie. i know you say you can't, but i know you can. you were pretty close to loving jongin, i know you were. and i'm sorry, that you were so scared about feeling things for him that you decided to cheat on him just to show that you didn't have a heart and i helped you. i helped you break jongin's heart because i jumped into bed with you and you knew he would catch us and there were two broken hearts that time, but neither of them were yours."

"lalisa," jennie feels a lump in her throat, "what happened with jongin wasn't your fault."

"i thought i told you be quiet?" lisa's voice sounds clear now, slightly shaky, but very determined. "tell jongin that i'm sorry, unnie. i think you two would be great together. you know, if you ever wanted to try again."

"i don't want to try again,"

lisa ignores this. "i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. i didn't care how, i just wanted to be with you so much. i hurt so many people. i even pushed taehyung away. taehyung told me he loved me, you know. right before he kissed me. it's weird, i've been waiting for those words for so long, but they were said by the wrong person. it didn't feel right. he doesn't kiss me like you do. i thought about you, i told you. taehyung kissed me and all i thought was oh, well jennie would have me half naked and between her legs right now. haven't i really grown up, unnie? i think you made me really pervy. but that's okay. i like it." lisa hums. "i love you jennie. i feel like i'm drowning in a sea of you and i don't know how to swim. are you going to save me?"

jennie almost can't speak. "lisa."

"yes, unnie?"

jennie swallows past the lump in her throat. she ruffles her hair, closing her eyes. she thinks having lisa's heart in her palms is a big responsibility, she doesn't want to hurt it. "please tell me where you are."

lisa sighs. "i have to go unnie."

"lalisa," jennie pleads. "please, i... i have to see you."

lisa hums. "you'll see me unnie, i promise." she drops her voice to a whisper, and jennie wonders what the hell is going on because it sounds like she's smiling. "i love you unnie."

jennie licks her lips, wants to say it too, but she can't. she fucking can't. and she doesn't know why. coward, jennie scoffs at herself, what a fucking coward.

lisa laughs at the silence. "bye unnie. i'll see you around. love you."

and then the line goes dead and jennie is left blinking at her phone.