My Exception// Jack Avery [2]

CHAPTER 27 [the worst thing for me]

Nervous is an under-statement. I feel like the whole corridor is slowly closing in on me and my only escape is to knock on the door and walk inside but despite that feeling, my arms do not seem to have the strength to pull my hand up to knock. The lump in my throat stays permenant, the thin layer of sweat on my forehead holds its place as my heart seems to beat out of my chest - anyone miles away could hear it. One simple knock on a plain grey door and my body would probably collapse from the pressure and I would be left there, unable to move or talk. Knowing that no one else was in the house right now just made everything worse, I had no one to run to if something was to go terribly wrong. I'm on my own in this and I dont have anything to keep me afloat.

"Fuck sake, do it Grace" I mumble lowly to myself, "its just a fucking knock, he might not even answer" I mumble shortly after. I take a deep breath in, in order to calm my nerves and to hopefully slow down the dangerously fast pace of my heart beat. As I let it out my body softens although, the nerves the door bring me are still very noticeable. I wiggle my fingers to make sure I still had feeling in them since I can bring myself to move. I look down the empty corridor in hope of finding a way out, but its closing in and if I dont knock now then I wont ever. Screw it. I pull my arms up to knock on the door three times and my hands instantly comes to cover my mouth in shock as I find myself taking a step back in slight fear. No turning back now.

The door opens and what I'm greeted by takes away most of the nerves but meets me with something even scarier, regret. His face fall down the ground with his hand still holding the door open ajar. He is dressed in nothing but grey sweats and his once beautiful curly hair has been hidden with a purple beanie. My heart ahces to see him but I know that I have to force myself to do this, even if everything in me is telling me to run. Neither of us speak, unable to know what to say. He doesnt remove his eyes from the floor in what feels like forever but I cant remove my eyes from him. The silence becomes unbearable, "hey" I breathe out finally. His face slowly lfts off the ground to look at me his eyes full of hurt and sadness. "Hi" she says back at me, his expression hard to read.

"Please can I come in" I ask him, "why, are you actually going to talk to me now" he asks with hurt in his voice, I deserved that. "Just, please" I say to him. He nods slighlty before dropping his hand from the door and walking backwards to sit on his bed. I push the door aside and walk in, making sure to shut it gently behind me. I mess around wih my fingers nervously before figuring out what to say to him. "I'm sorry" I choke out, but his face deosnt move from the ground. "I'm sorry for everything, not talking to you, not letting you in, forcing you to stay with someone you didnt want to be with and for not saying it back" I choke out the last few words as I rememeber Jack uttering the words 'I love you' just before he screamed 'fuck you' and left. I know better than anyone that those words arent easy for him to say, they arent for me either.

He doesnt say anything and I begin to panic more, "I didnt know what was happening after that night, I shut my phone off and I wouldnt let Jonah even say your name around me because it hurt too much to hear, I didnt know anything Jack, I'm so sorry for that" I say and he finally looks at me. He looked as though he could cry but was pushing the tears away harder than anything. "You werent forcing me to be with her, nothing you could've said would have make me stay with her, I was going to break up with her if you liked it not, she did it before I got the chance" he says finally. "I shouldnt have shut you out, I'm sorry but I'm here now, anything you want to say, just say it" I plead, wanting to get anything out of him.

"Okay" he says simply, "one day you walked back into my life and fucked it all up" he says and my heart cracks, on the verge of breaking. "I was happy, but then you came" he says and guilt washes over me. "And for some fucking reason, you wouldnt leave my mind" he states, "it was the same for me" I mutter, "I couldnt help but think to myself that letting you go was the biggest mistake I made, I couldnt stop thinking about you, I couldnt stay away from you, all I wanted to do was to fucking kiss you, it didnt matter to me that I had a girlfriend" he shrugs but I say quiet and choose to let him say his peice.