Cover-up

The Duck

"Maureen! Doug! We have a situation over in the alleyway at Restaurant Row," the Sergeant said. "I want you two clowns to go check it out."

"What's the sit..." Doug started.

"What's the situation, Sergeant?" Maureen said, cutting Doug off mid-sentence.

"All I know is we received an anonymous tip that a guy is tied up and we need to go get him. It sounds like our vigilante has struck again."

"Ok Sergeant, we'll go..." Doug began.

"Got it, Serge. We're on our way," Maureen said, cutting Doug off again. Turning towards her partner, "Let's go, Doug!"

Reports of a vigilante had been spreading around town for the previous month. The vigilante, often described as homeless or a hobo, intervened when citizens found themselves in harm's way. Although the reports individually didn't sound credible, their abundance indicated something was going on.

...

Upon arriving, officers Maureen and Doug found a man passed out in the alleyway and sitting comfortably with his back leaning against the building and sheltered from the rain by the awning. They found Sam a short distance away, with arms and legs bound and a note pinned to his chest that read, "I'm a despicable man, you should arrest me." Sam had a large, partially decomposed duck lying next to him that had been dead for several days. The duck lacked a foot and most of its feathers. Also missing were large patches of skin where the bone was visible. If one looked closely, a substantial number of maggots could be seen crawling in the duck's empty eye socket although they were present all throughout the duck. The redness on the back of the duck's head appeared to be blood, but a quick taste would have identified the substance as catsup.

Officer Maureen told her partner to untie the man, help him to his feet, and guide him to their patrol car. Once freed, however, Sam bent over, picked up the putrid duck carcass, and clutched it tightly against his chest. Although cooperative at first, when Doug tried to take away his dead duck, Sam resisted. Panicking, Sam held the duck tighter. The increased pressure released a fart sound from the duck, followed by a stream of green mung from the duck's anus that spattered all over Sam's shirt. The smell was truly horrifying.

Sam pleaded with the police officers, "Don't take my pet bunny away. Don't take my bunny away." He became so agitated that the officers, feeling they were losing control, wrestled Sam to the ground where they bound his hands with handcuffs.

"No one is going to die if we let him keep his damn duck. Maybe the duck will calm him down," Doug said, offering what he thought was a reasonable solution.

When she had Sam's wrists bound, Maureen took the dead duck and, with a disgusted frown, threw it into the trash dumpster as Sam looked on in horror. Now, with tears streaming down his face, Sam became inconsolable and began non-stop screaming, "No! No! You took my bunny away. Nooooo."

"What did you say, Doug? I wasn't listening."

"I said it wouldn't have hurt to ..."

"I've got work to do," Maureen said, abruptly interrupting Doug. "Take this idiot to the car!"

The officers decided they couldn't arrest Sam based on an anonymous note, and the drunk victim wasn't a credible witness with his wild stories of rescue by a Kung Fu Master. Besides, with Sam showing signs of dementia, they couldn't release him either. With their options limited, the officers decided that the best place for Sam was the mental ward of the nearby Sanatorium for long-term observation, a place Sam knew well.