Blurred Childhood

Step One

True to her word, Liz woke me up as soon as Dad had left for work. She said she'd help me get to the basement and be my tour guide, but that I might want to dress so that I could easily hide in the place.

I had dressed in all black and had left for the front door, when Terry, who had been sitting in the living room watching TV, saw me.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked. "It's like, two hundred degrees outside and you don't want to get drenched in that."

"Uh..." What do I say? That I'm literally doing the thing he told me not to do?

"Oh, I get it," Terry laughed before I could say anything. "You were going to try and sneak out into the basement, weren't you?" My face got hot. "Hah! I had a feeling you were going to try, so I decided to chill out here and test my theory. Turns out I was right!" Terry continued to laugh while I just stood there, embarrassed. "Seriously, what are you hoping to accomplish?"

"Euh..." I'm not sure. "I, um... I kind of wanted to... confirm... our, or your, or mine... the idea I'm a robot." Terry laughed again before turning serious.

"You honestly think all of this will be in the basement?" He asked. I nodded. "You think you know how to bypass the security?"

"I do!" Liz exclaimed, I'm sure fully aware Terry couldn't hear her. But the way he glanced at me with a confused expression made me think he could.

"You can hear her too?" I asked. Terry's eyes widened. Yeah, he couldn't.

"Hear who? Oh, wait, you hear voices. I was expecting you to answer the question. No, I did not hear anyone. Who was this 'she' you are referring to?"

"It's fine."

"Liz," I said.

"Wait, Liz is here?" Terry cried, leaping up. I nodded. "Where?"

"Behind me. I think." I responded. Terry looked behind me, squinted, looked at every angle, but sat back down after a minute. He looked like he was going to cry.

"Tell her that I'm sorry," He instructed.

"Why?"

"Because... I was mildly complicit in her death. I didn't make sure she didn't die."

"But you didn't kill her directly?"

"No, that abomination Dad calls Baby did."

"Oh. Is she in the basement?"

"Hah. I wouldn't doubt it. Just... be careful down there. Mom said there's a lot of crap that can really hurt you. Or kill you. If you're a huge idiot. But you're not an idiot. But just be careful. Anyway."

"Thanks," I said, mildly flattered that he called me not an idiot. After calling me an idiot for a while now. "So I can go?"

"Technically, you can do anything," Terry followed up. "But yes, I am allowing you to go to the basement."

"Okay." I tried to gather up some courage, just after all this danger talk.

"Hey, and if you die again, I think I'm gonna just kill myself," Terry said right before I left.

"What?"

"I let our sister die, I killed you, and if you die here and now, that's three deaths I'm responsible for, and you can only take so much of that. And to top it all off, our mom just died, so that's enough death I had to go through in a lifetime. So don't die. Or do. I don't... really care anymore."

I took a deep breath and nodded, feeling a sudden urge to stop what I was doing and stay with my family forever and forget this whole robot thing.

"Oh, come on man, I'm not any less suicidal than you were," Terry said, trying to force a laugh. I just then realized I probably was going to cry. He could probably tell. He came over to hug me, and I had to let out all of the crying I had held in since Mom died.