The Paragon

Chapter Fourteen

Phoenix never cancelled training. He was always there early, always there when I arrived. But today, when I arrived at the training room, there was no one. No Phoenix.

I waited for ten minutes past the time we were supposed to begin, pinging his communicator a few times. When I never got a response, I decided to take matters into my own hands and find him. Worry was curled in the pit of my stomach; this was unlike Phoenix. He could be hurt or sick. But wouldn't someone have told me then?

The first and most logical place to check was his room, so I headed there. It wasn't far from mine, and as I walked down the passageway towards it, I realized I could hear tense voices coming from ahead.

Slowing down, I noticed that none of the doors ahead of me were open at all; it struck me that I really shouldn't be able to hear any conversations clearly through them, but that improved hearing that Phoenix had mentioned I would receive seemed to be coming into effect. At best I should be hearing only muffled voices, but as I got closer to the source of the sound, I started to make out the words.

"It's not healthy to spend the entire day brooding over it, Phoenix." The voice was familiar, and as I got closer I realized it belonged to Wayfinder Nadia. She sounded worried, a tone I hadn't really become accustomed to from her during my brief sojourn on her ship.

I stopped outside of Phoenix's door, only feeling slightly guilty eavesdropping on a clearly private conversation. "I'm not brooding, Nadia," came Phoenix's reply. His voice was flat, unemotional. It wasn't his normal voice, and I felt my chest constrict slightly at hearing it. He didn't sound sad, he sounded empty.

"Really?" Nadia's reply was. "You don't call this brooding? Simply neglecting to leave your room at all? This is why I constantly get questioned on your ability to be a Keeper, let alone the Paragon's Keeper."

"Obviously, people are questioning it."

"Can you blame them? You have a history of reckless behavior. Behavior I still personally have seen in action!"

"If you're still referring to the lightning rod on the ship, that wasn't reckless. It was necessary and you know it."

"And you know full well that's not the only time you've been wild or thoughtless." I heard Nadia sigh, and could just imagine her running her hand through her short red hair in frustration and worry. "You can't do this, Phoenix. You just can't. Do you want people to gossip again?"

"If people are intent on gossiping, then they can do so," Phoenix said. "People aren't concerned; they wanted the job for themselves. But I am still the best option, Nadia, with or without my history as you put it." It was wrong of me to keep eavesdropping. This was very clearly a personal conversation that I had no business listening in on. But I stayed, leaning up against the wall next to the door, listening intently.

"Is this just another attempt to make up for the past, Phoenix?" Nadia asked. I noticed that they were taking no honorifics with each other, as they normally did in conversation. She simply referred to him by first name. It wasn't in a disrespectful way, though; when we'd been on the ship, it had been clear they knew each other well; now, I would hazard a guess to say they were friends—or maybe even more?

There was a long silence from Phoenix. "I can never make up for the past," he admitted. "It's there forever, and there's nothing I can do to change that. I'm not trying to. And I am not trying to throw my life away. Things have changed."

"We have a Paragon now. Things will get more dangerous, undoubtedly. And if you still want to be her Keeper—"

"I do," Phoenix said.