ambience [h.s]

CHAPTER 19.

I hear her crying from my spot outside the door. I am leaning against the wall next to the doorway. Diana is calming her, and by the way her sobs are muffled I can tell she is in Diana’s shoulder. 

“What happened Rose?” Her voice is soft, not demanding at all.

“Before my first time, with Bryce, you know,” Rose says, able to speak but still crying, her voice extremely sad. My fists clench every time she says Bryce, wishing I could punch him in the face. But wait, he was her first time? “We-we made a pinky promise. He pinky promised me he would love me forever. And we kissed each others pinkies.” Her voice breaks and I want to run in there and squeeze her till her sadness is out. 

“Then after that, whenever we got into a fight, I would hold out my pinky and we would kiss them and I would remember the promise and today- today I held it out! And then everything came rushing back and I remembered just how bad it hurt to lose Bryce to his own mind.” Her sadness overwhelms me. Fucking Bryce, as much as I hate to imagine her with anyone else, I can’t help but hate him especially. Rose seems fine now, her voice normal again. I lean my head back against the doorframe. It makes a loud noise and makes my head feel a jolt of pain that is gone in seconds. 

“Go away you asshole!” Rose calls out. Diana giggles. I pretend to walk away but slide back as soon as I can. 

“So how was Justin?” Diana asks. I inch my ear even closer to the door, wanting to hear every word. A hand on my shoulder makes me jump. I turn to see blue eyes staring back into mine. 

“Are the girls in there?” Niall asks as he knocks. I can’t even protest. Rose opens it up and narrows her eyes. 

“Harold.”

“Rose.” I mock her. She tries to suppress her smile but I see the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. It gives me that feeling. 

“Go away. Go eat the twinkies in the freezer, just don't step down this hallway.” She says and slams the door. 

“Twinkies!” Niall’s eyes brighten and I groan as he drags me toward the kitchen. 

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“Niall’s here.” I tell Diana. Her face lights up and she smiles at the duvet. 

“Answer the question.” Is all she says. I sigh, thinking about my answer. 

“He was perfect, but not like a boyfriend perfect. Like a friend perfect.” I explain our date word by word as best as I can. When I am done we are both laying down and she is smiling. 

“You didn’t feel it did you?” She asks with a warm smile. I know what she means. 

“No, I didn’t. Not like when I kiss-“ I stop myself before I can say a name. She laughs. 

“Oh c’mon Rose, I know it’s Harry.” I scowl at her. She realizes what that means and squeals.

“Wait you guys have kissed?!” I'm positive my face matches a tomato and I try to cover her mouth.

“Do you want me to break your neck?” I sigh and put my face in my hands. She just smiles happily with that look on her face. I make a face at her. 

“You guys are gonna have to face each other eventually. Why not get it over with? I see the way you look at him Rose, and I see the way he watches you.” I roll my eyes but the words have my stomach churning. She sighs when I don't answer. “Go. Please.” It’s my turn to sigh. I groan and get up, dreading the conversation. I stumble out into the living room and find Harry and Niall talking. While I stalk to the kitchen Diana whispers something to Niall. He nods and leaves to the back rooms with her. I grab a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and go back to Harry and plop down next to him on the couch. I rip open the cheap whiskey and don't even bother to get a glass, just take a chug. Harry is watching me, I look over to him.