90 Days: A Journey Towards Health

Chapter 2 What I See In the Mirror

Ugh. This is harder than one might think. During the first day I had quite a few struggles: I did not drink a lot of water, I wasn't able to get in nearly enough exercise, and I am still fighting negative thoughts, plus I ate too many carbs. Deep sigh.

Even so, I did have some victories: I tackled one writing topic, I challenged the negative thoughts with truth, I was able to work in a few stretches, and added more vegetables to my diet.

Yay me! Thank you very much. What did my victories teach me? The struggle is worth it.

Getting on the scale is always a gamble, will it be my friend or my enemy? Doesn't matter, I cannot just approach it - I must step on it. Holding my breath as the scale calculated my numbers, I waited patiently as they danced up and down across the screen. Woo hoo! Five pounds down!

Since it happened over night, I am pretty sure it was a loss of water. I will still take the win. Every pound off counts.

I keep my scale in the bathroom, in front of a mirror. Why? I don't know, a lapse in better judgment. As much as I hate the truth the scale reveals, the mirror shows me another truth. One I wasn't ready to face. It screams you are flawed, flawed, flawed!

Now, I must fight the horrors my mind shows me when I glance at a mirror. A new step to my challenge is to find something acceptable about myself when I see me. I don't have to worry about the world berating me, I am capable of doing it myself.

I wonder, does a swan see a beautiful creature when it sees it's reflection? Does it see a duck or goose and think, If only I could look like that, maybe I would be a better swimmer?

I've passed overweight woman taking a quick look at themselves in a store window and it is usually followed by by a frown, look of disgust, or the holding back of tears. I want to approach them and tell them they are beautiful. If only I could do the same for myself.

I can relate to all three of those emotions. I look in the mirror and I cannot recognize the woman staring back at me. Where did she come from? How did she get here? What can I do to get away from her?

A smile used to decorate my face twenty-four seven. Yes, I even smiled in my sleep. I know this because a roommate entered my room to wake me and found me smiling while sleeping. But now, the years, life, stress, my bad health, and low self-esteem all darn my tired face.

What I see in the mirror often reflects my behavior for the day. I need to release the emotions trying to hold me back. Goodbye why bother attitude. So long I don't deserve it thoughts. See you later tearing up the floor with the it doesn't matter philosophy.

It's time to re-evaluate and re-prioritize. Let's get this body and life back in balance. I matter! - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It seems awful to say I am caring for myself, but if I do not, how can I reach out to help others?

After fixing the problems we carry with us on a daily basis, we can then present the world with a healthier, more refreshed, patient, kind and loving version of ourselves. And isn't that what we desire to be – healthy, happy, content, with an energy to take on each new day? I know I do.

What do you need to release to free yourself?

"Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."
1 PETER 3:3-4

Day 2
327.5
G254
BP 171/107 103