Falling Heavenward: A Good Omens Crowley/Aziraphale Fanfic

Vaguely downwards

"I really hate being an angel," Crowley muttered, as the escalator descended and the atmosphere improved. "I always did. I mean, making the stars, that was fun, but it all seemed a bit of wasted effort, just so the humans could see some pretty sparks in the sky."

"I suppose you couldn't take a quiet satisfaction in a job well done?" Aziraphale suggested, then took in Crowley's glare. "No, no, sorry, silly of me."

"I hate the rules."

"You can't tell me Hell doesn't have thousands of petty rules. Not with Dagon."

"Yeah, but we're not expected to enjoy them. Or be grateful. I mean, yeah, Hail Satan, the Dark Prince likes his ego being flattered, but he doesn't actually expect us to love him."

"I can't believe you just said Hail Satan while actually in Heaven." Aziraphale winced.

"Well, you just did. It suited you." Crowley kicked his foot against the side of the escalator. It didn't make a mark. "No, it didn't. You love being an angel. There was a while I hoped that you wouldn't mind much being a demon, because you can't follow rules either, but I knew I was fooling myself. You can't walk into a wine bar without finding a lost soul to comfort."

"I'm sorry." They left the Building and headed for the car.

"That's not something to be sorry for. If you weren't so damned kind, you would have told me to get lost the first time I tried to chat you up."

"You became an angel again for my sake anyway," Aziraphale said quietly. "Because you thought that was what I wanted."

Crowley put the Bentley into gear."I might have made it work. If you remembered me. You would have helped. But without your help, and oh, bless, Gabriel knew just what to do. Put it into my head that he had replaced me, and bang went every chance I had. I started the big slope back down the moment I heard him flirting with you. Went bonkers with jealousy and insecurity. Started lying and manipulating and trying to seduce you straight away. Oh, Asmodeus is going to make a great demon. Much better than me." The car roared down the road. "Would be a thumb in the face to Her, too. A fallen angel welcomed back into the fold, and then going back to Hell."

"I'm sorry," Aziraphale said again. "But I don't—I think I can't have wanted you to be this unhappy." Crowley looked into worried kind eyes, and wanted to cry and kiss him and scream and break the entire world.

"Yeah, I know. But I was the one who let down the end of the deal. No true repentance, Sandalphon nailed me on that. Michael is going to be really, really disappointed. Oh, Satan, please don't let Asmodeus be my superior." He screwed his eyes shut.

"Please keep your eyes open while driving!" Crowley opened his eyes obediently, and Aziraphale relaxed a little. Crowley reached for his glasses, reflecting that if he felt like closing them again, it was better for the angel not to know. ""Is there any way for you not to Fall again?" So much pain in Aziraphale's voice. So much guilt in his own heart. Well, that would be all right. Part of being a demon was learning not to listen to guilt.

"No." He accelerated again. "But there's a way for you not to be unhappy about it. I won't be unhappy either, really. Quite contented and enjoying myself immensely, I suspect. Doesn't that sound nice?" Or he could walk into the nearest church and dip his head into the font. That seemed as inviting an idea as taking Sandalphon up on his offer.

"Do I get any choice in this matter?" Aziraphale asked, and there was cold anger in his voice.

In answer, Crowley lifted his hip, pulled Asmodeus' contract out of his pocket, and threw it onto Aziraphale's lap as the Bentley roared down the street.