✓ [18+] COMMITMENT

T W E N T Y : A P P E T I T E

A/N: Warning—a bunch of smut ahead. This was more or less a filler chapter. Enjoy ^_^

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T W E N T Y : A P P E T I T E

Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster—William Throsby Bridges

D A N T E

The morning light is shining through the window and it's still raining from early this morning. I've maybe slept a few hours before I woke up to a nightmare about Kat screaming. I know why I had the dream, it's all I could think about before I fell asleep.

When I held her in my arms, I thought about how she'd woken up like that multiple times a night for the last few days. How she'd woken up all alone and terrified. I hate that she thought she had to do this all on her own. But like the stubborn girl she is, she thought what she was doing was the best solution.

Right now her back is to me and I can't help but touch her soft, caramel colored skin. I watch as her torso slowly rises and falls, deep in sleep. I wonder if she's been able to sleep at all in the last three nights or if this is the first. Leaning down, I softly kiss her shoulder, sliding her hair off her neck. I make my way up her shoulder to her neck and softly kiss up it until I get to her cheek.

Kat stirs a little in her sleep and lets out a small moan. I know I'm affecting her body, even in her sleep. Not wanting to wake her up quite yet, I lay back in the bed and look up at the ceiling. I watch the ceiling fan blades turn slowly in a clockwise position.

This morning during our time together, I almost slipped up. I don't know what came over me in the heat of the moment. All I could think about was how much I needed her, needed to protect her.

I imagined the horrible things I would do to Jason if he'd hurt her. I let my emotions get the best of me during our time and I almost called her my wife.
I'm not sure if she realized that or not but she didn't say anything about it or act affected in the least.

Why did I almost say it though? I know I've been thinking about it lately and it must've been heavy on my heart in that moment. I thought about it more the last three days as I wondered why she stopped coming over. She used the excuse of me having more quality time with Joseph but I knew that wasn't all of it.

I know Joseph really adores Kat, and her being around all the time isn't a bad thing to him. The last three days he's constantly asked about her and why she wasn't coming over. I told him it was because she was busy but the kid is smart. He was worried it was his fault and I reassured him that Kat adores him as well, that she's not avoiding coming over because of him suddenly being around in our lives.

I wish she would've told me what was really going on at first. I could've been there for her, comforted her. She's been alone most of her life, dealt with horrible instances all on her own but that's not the case now. She not only has me but so many more people that care about her.

Loneliness is the worst thing in the world and now that I've had a taste of Kat and her love, I never want to lose her. I love this girl more than anything and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and happy.

Fuck I'm beyond in love at this point. I can't stop thinking about how much I really want this girl as my future wife and mother of my children. I think about what I'd ask her when I got out of the shower. I'd asked her to move in with me. Surprisingly she answered yes and I was so excited until I heard the soft snores of her deep in sleep. She was barely awake when I'd asked her so I know I can't take her answer seriously. Hell, she probably doesn't even remember me asking her.