Hey Ab,
Fuck you. I want to start this out by saying fuck you. The scars you left on me are always going to be there so I just want to tell you that I fucking hate you. There's no single part of me that loves you or cares for you because of what you did.
Fuck you. I'm sorry that I have to be mean but I can't help myself. You did so much shit to me that fucked me up mentally, emotionally, physically.
When we started dating, you told me not to tell anyone and I don't understand how I didn't get that you were manipulating me. The first time you laid your hands rough on me, I don't fucking know why I didn't end everything right there and then.
Every single time, I made excuse after excuse after excuse. I let you be the victim because I did everything wrong. I was the one in fault every single time. Every single fucking time I was the one who did that. Who hurt you.
But it gave you no excuse to touch me like that. When I said no, when you tried to pull off my pants, it was a no. When I said sorry for kicking you in the face for trying to rape me, it wasn't a sorry. I'm not fucking sorry. I'm not fucking sorry.
I was 13! I didn't want to have sex. I wasn't ready to have sex! How dare you try to rape me twice! How dare you try to take all that care I had for you and manipulate me. I actually cared and loved for you.
When someone says no, when someone's crying saying stop, when someone is hurting, you stop.
You watched me cut myself. You watched me put scars into my thighs because I wasn't skinny. I'm not skinny. I'm not beautiful and you were the only one who'd love me.
I don't want your love anymore. I would rather stay lonely and untouchable than with you now.
So yes, fuck you.
