Bat Family Misadventures

Why Is The Dog On Fire? (It was a dare)

NOTE: For the this and all the following stories I'm going to leave all of their ages very ambiguous.
AKA the time Jason, Tim, and Dick found out that Damian will do just about anything if you dare him.

"I dare you to set Ace on fire," Jason said with his signature half manic grin.

Summer

Gotham Academy was out for summer and while most kids might go to the pool, see a movie, visit family. The bat kids needed something a bit more interesting (dangerous) to entertain them. After a few rounds of increasingly violent twister and a fruitless internet search by Tim, the bat kids found themselves in the Batcave's storage room digging out the flame retardant costumes.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Dick, ever the mother hen, was the voice of caution.

Jason, unable to resist a bad idea, was having none of it, "of course it is, we're all trained vigilantes. Really, what's the worst that could happen."

Tim groaned, his hands jittering slightly from his high caffeine intake, "can we just do something? If we don't do this we're all gonna end up killing each other for entertainment."

Jason had to refrain hard from commenting that he'd already died, knowing that pissing Dick off this early in the day would only lead to more opposition to the rest of today's stupid ideas. While Damian, who had been pulling out the rest of the costumes while they'd paused, commented, "I think you mean that I would kill all of you, Drake."

A pause, all internally sighing at the now-familiar arrogance.

Jason, "I take offense at that comment, Demon Spawn."

"Why, because it's true?" Damian flashed the trademark Wayne smirk.

Dick snorted. Jason scoffed. Tim raised an eyebrow, attempting to look aristocratically indignant with a few weeks sleep deprivation hanging under his eyes.

After composing himself Dick clapped his hands together. "We're all bored and killing each other won't do us any good."

Jason nodded, eager to begin the mischief. He held out a lighter, casually flicking it open with a gleeful smile on his face, "now all we need to do is find that damn dog."

Moments later they had each fanned out to a different corner of the house, Tim was upstairs searching the boys' rooms, Jason took the right-wing on the bottom floor, while Damian took the other wing; Dick for no reason at all clambered up on the roof and started looking in the yard with a robin's eye view.

Despite all this, it was Alfred who found the Great Dane nosing through the laundry room. Hearing the boys' shouts he sent the dog their way with only a mustache twitch. Surprisingly enough it was not Damien the dog immediately sought out.

There was a loud crash, followed by a string of expletives.

"Master Jason." Alfred shook his head, a wry smile on lips, as he continued folding the laundry.

At the sound of the crash the remaining teens had all congregated in the right wing. A bubble of laughter and the incessant clicking of iPhone cameras followed. Jason sprawled flat on his stomach was being used as a rather unwilling chair by the excitable hound.

"Good boy." Damien's smile was ear to ear as he watched Jason's unsuccessful attempts the pry the dog off him. Dick helped Jason up as Tim added the photos to a file on his phone suspiciously labeled blackmail.

"Can we finally finish this stupid dare? That mutt deserves what's coming to it." Jason said as he made a show of brushing nonexistent dirt from his shoulders.

"Alright, but we should go outside. Alfred just might kill us if we set the sprinklers off all over the dry laundry." Dick marched out the backdoor, and the others followed with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Damien was in the rear, carrying an old robin costume. Dick paused a moment, choosing his path, before leading them past the sprawling gardens to the poolside. "Better safe than sorry."

It only took a moment for Damien to slip the robin cowl over the confused dog's head. The cape billowed out in the wind, he looked like sort of bat dog. He held out his hand out for the lighter, which Jason dropped into his hand immediately.

"Are you sure about this, Dami?"

"A dare is a matter of pride, Grayson. I would never allow my honor to be besmirched by the likes of Todd."

"Hey." Jason said half heartedly, he knew it was true.

Damien flicked the lighter.

Ace's cowl caught immediately, the flame spread quickly, but the suit did its job. The fire didn't touch the hound, but the dog's instincts didn't know that. He ran every which way, trying to escape the fire, all the while leaving a trail of smoke in his wake.

"Should we help him?" Tim asked, gazing at the dog. Half convinced the caffeine hallucinations had started as he watched the flaming Great Dane dart around the pool.

"He's next to a pool, he'll figure it out eventually." Jason waved a hand dismissively.

.........

"Ahem."

The boys froze. Then turned around one by one, each hoping that he wouldn't actually be there.

"H-hey, Bruce." Dick said as nonchalantly as he could, as though the family dog were not on fire right behind him.

"What exactly is going on here?" Bruce addressed all of them in the voice that he reserved for the worst of Gotham's criminal underbelly and misbehaving sons. "I was assisting the GCPD, when Gordon got a call that smoke had been spotted at Wayne Manor. Care to explain?"

"Well—" Jason started to explain, when three batboy's hands covered his mouth.

"Alfred did it." Tim supplied.