My Demons

TRUST.

Lol, where do i begin.
Been a while tho i have to admit.
I'd begin with my sob story buh nevermind.
For a while now, I've believed no one really cared about me
I mean you never know how a person truly feels but yourself.
And i guess that's "trust"
You trust that someone really genuinely cares about you rendering the doubts irrelevant.
You trust that they'd always be there for you 'cause that's how you genuinely feel for them.
I guess the greatest disappointment is knowing they don't feel the same
Knowing you've just created an illusion or fantasy of their feelings for you.
But the truth is, if you truely genuinely care about someone the way they feel about you shouldn't matter.
Do not depend on other people's emotions to orchestrate your feelings
How they feel about you shouldn't matter or hurt you in the least.
Maybe at first it feels like it hurts, your feelings not being reciprocated but sooner you realise that if your feelings for them is what makes you happy, their feelings towards you should go to hell.
I don't know if I'm making sense to certain people rn.
But all i really mean is don't let other people's feelings or emotions towards you dampen your mood.
For a while i believed that the people you care about will always have your back buh the reality is even if they do care about you they're also waiting on someone to have their backs
It's not everytime people would be there for you.
And i guess everyone's problem is that they believe there should always be someone there every second
Which isn't right
Everyone has shit their dealing with
Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.
Shit happens, move on.
There are times you think nothing can go worse than it already is
Buh trust me, it can.
Be grateful of things and the people you have right now
Rather than mourning over the loss of things you never had or the people you wish to meet.
And writing this just made me realise how grateful i really am.
Ps; I'm sorry it's all jumbled up.