Swimming With Sophie

I FIGURED IT OUT...

Luc

Coupons. As I stand at the airport entrance gazing at a display of pamphlets for island activities, I scan each one for mention of a discount. The ones without any discount are immediately returned to their spot. However, seeing the promise of financial savings has me folding those little treasures into a square and adding them to my back pocket. Each time I see one, I get a little thrill, which I realize is messed up.

It's an addiction, isn't it? I am obsessed with saving money. But is it really any different than Sophie's need to have everything perfect?

The second I finish asking myself that rhetorical question, I have an actual answer.

Yes.

It is different. I may get a thrill from using a coupon and have a hard time doing anything without feeling like I got a deal, but it really isn't anything like what Sophie goes through. She isn't getting a high off of order and control. It's what makes her feel normal, grounded. When things are as they should be, Sophie can relax. She's not buzzing with the feeling like I am. She's calm. It's the panic she's trying to avoid, not a thrill she's trying to chase.

I am a fool.

None of this is new information. It's not even a revelation of understanding for me. I've always known this about Sophie, practically from day one. Well, it was day fifteen to be accurate. The day I decided to surprise her at home and drop by without calling first. Sophie freaked out and refused to let me in. Even after we'd worked it all out and she'd given me a story about not wanting me to meet her messy side, I knew there was more that she wasn't telling me.

But as I've always said, Sophie is worth it. She's worth every headache and slammed door. I will never hold any of that against her.

It's now that I see how differently our obsessions function in our lives that I understand the real deal. I've got a quirk, she's got an issue. Two completely different things. My quirk might irritate her but her issue controls her, and therefore it needs to control me in a way.

So I'm going to put myself in her shoes and realize that what needs to happen here is a leap of faith. We both need to make that leap if we want a future together.

Sophie likes things simple. She doesn't like attention, which is why I proposed by raising an eyebrow instead of getting down on one knee with a diamond.

Oh, she got the diamond a few days later. I asked her to pass the ketchup and when she did I passed her the ring. She nodded her head in approval and slipped the ring on her finger, that was that. But my girl deserves the words. She deserves to hear, out loud, every single reason we need to take the leap into the future. I've said them, she's heard them, but not the way I'm planning to say them now.

With my eyes still scanning the pamphlet of activities at the airport, I spot the one I'm looking for. Holding my breath, I lift it up and search for a discount. I blow out the breath when I don't see one. That would have been icing on the cake, a sign that I'm on the right track. Staring at it, and knowing I need to do this anyway, Sophie needs me to, I fold the paper into a square and shove it in my back pocket. Then I head over to the booking desk to find out if they have a map of this place.

I need to find the perfect destination for part one of our future together. I shoot Travis a text and get started on my plan to get my woman back.

^^^^^

Still love the guy after all this time. Luc makes me swoon...

Click on lovelies!!