Swimming With Sophie

I CAN'T EVEN...

Sophie

I feel the towel being pulled off of my head but I'm still in the groggy fog of afternoon napping, unable to grab it back. Sucky reflexes.

"Hey." I mean to say it with irritation but it comes out pretty lifeless instead. I'd blame the nap but I know myself too well. This isn't nap related. I'll blame Groupon instead. That stupid website is the root of all of my problems. AKA I'm in denial.

"Sophie, I've been waiting for you at the spa for almost an hour! You haven't responded to any of my texts. We're supposed to be asleep in the middle of a massage, not on a lounge chair." Lacey sounds half pissed off and half confused.

"And exactly how many tropical drinks have you knocked back?" Lacey bends down under my chair and grabs the little umbrellas. "If you wanted to day drink that's your call but a heads up would have been nice."

"It was unplanned, just kind of snuck up on me. Otherwise I would have invited you to the event." I think about sitting up but decide against it. Napping sounds better, so I turn over to face away from my best friend who doesn't self destruct at the sight of a coupon.

"Where's Luc?"

Lacey asks the question as if she didn't just punch a hole in my carefully crafted fantasy land in which I'm not a jilted bride. My fiancé is simply off with the guys enjoying his last few hours of bachelor life.

That denial stuff isn't working the way its supposed to.

"I don't know." I have to answer honestly. Unfortunately.

"What do you mean? That guy is surgically attached to you. Travis calls him whipped cream on a daily basis. How do you not know where he is?"

I shrug as Lacey stands over me, blocking the glow of the sun that I don't want to be looking at anyway because romance is already dead. "I 'poolside bar discount' shamed him and he left. That's all I've got."

"You what? Is that even a thing, poolside bar discount shaming?" Lacey sits on the end of the lounge chair. She seems deflated. That's exactly how I feel, like the air was let out of my balloon.

"It is when the girl calls her guy a tight wad when he pulls out a coupon before paying for her Mai Tai. And then she ridicules his wallet for having moths because he never pulls a bill out of its leather closet. When she wraps up her roast by asking the bartender if he's ever met a cheeper customer than the guy to her right, its a done deal. He's gonna dump her and hitch a ride home."

I don't look at Lacey but I feel her open mouthed stare burning into me.

"Jeez, Soph. You really hit Luc where it hurts, right in the bank account. What made you flip out like that?" Her voice is soft even though it feels like that hammer I've been whacking at my life with ever since we got to the hotel.

Before I answer, I wrap my arms around my head in shame. Because I don't have a good reason. Luc didn't do anything wrong. He didn't even do anything different than he's always done. For some reason I've been angry.

No. That's the wrong word. I do feel angry, but that's not at the root of it all. I've got to dig out the anger, and below it there's fear. I'm so scared of losing Luc that I made him leave. I did it so he wouldn't. If that isn't every stupid romance that I've ever read...

"Oh, Lace. What have I done?"

Lacey lays down next to me, wrapping me up like a best friend should when her girl has hit rock bottom. That's me. At the bottom of the Grand Canyon of shame.

"Nothing that can't be smoothed over, babe. I've got you, and Travis will have Luc. In the meantime, let's go get pampered. I think you need to relax."

I nod in agreement, even though I know there's no way I can relax while the hammer is chipping away at my life. Why would Luc ever come back for a nut job like me? I already know the answer, so I don't bother thinking it.

^^^^^

Aww, poor Sophie! She really thinks she's past the point of no return. What do you think?

Clickbait on its way!!