Silver Claws

31. A tired mind is weak

My eyes snap open as Logan shifts above me.

It takes a few seconds to remember where I am. Downstairs. At the foot of the couch.

Logan isn't dying. His eyes are still in his skull.

His heart is beating.

I control my breathing. Press the back of my head into the floor until it hurts, the pillow slipped from under my head in the night. The pain is grounding, it helps everything feel more real.

I was annoyed that I'd even fallen asleep. I had just planned to rest, not close my eyes and slip into another nightmare. They were becoming constant, triggered by my mate's vulnerability. His injury was driving me just as insane as him.

His naturally twitchy nature is stunted by my efforts and his mother. I'm able to stop him from wandering outside, his mother keeps him from trying to traverse the stairs. I'm sympathetic, but I don't relent. Especially after the stunt he pulled a few days ago. He's lucky he didn't rebreak the bone hopping around, or I didn't break it again myself. I could educate him the way my kind teaches it's young, then he wouldn't be so stubborn.

Part of the problem is the Alpha inside him, wanting his head higher than the rest, trying to prove he is still the strongest. He can't stand this, neither can I. His father made it worse.

It was part of why I wasn't able to rest. His words still rang in my ears. I would protect Logan from his pack, protect his throne. But it would cost throats, more blood on my hands.

It doesn't matter. It didn't matter before, it doesn't matter now.

It doesn't matter that Logan would hate me more.

It doesn't matter.

I sit up and take my place at the window, eyeing the terrain. It brought me little ease, but some peace was better than none. Anything is better than feeling useless.

I glance back to him, his lanky form sprawled and his head is facing away. When I lay on the floor and him on the couch it almost feels like we are sleeping together. All I would have to do is reach my hand up to touch him. I shake my head and turn my attention to the trees again.

Another night I spend pacing, waiting for the light, waiting for the world to wake. I'm so tired, so so tired. The world feels far off, my body slightly disconnected from my mind. My thoughts come slowly, I try to shake myself to be more aware to no avail. I lean on the wall often, trying not to sit so I don't fall asleep. I'll need more coffee today.

I hear the shifting and groaning yawns behind me. "Morning sunshine." His rough morning voice makes my stomach flop. Logan sits up and swings into a standing position way too quickly.

I'm in front of him before he can start jumping. "Akela I'm just going to take a piss!" He whines, glaring down at me. His blue flames are so bright and warm I can hardly breathe.

I pick up his crutch and shove it into his hand, he refused to use both of them. He looks at it in complete disgust.

He puffs. "I don't need it."

"One more day with the crutch Logan."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

I don't move away, still blocking his path. I have my hands up, ready to push him back down onto the couch. I'm not strong enough to hold him down in skin, but I'll still try. I show him my teeth, and he shows his own back. I can't help but mark each one in my mind, impressed by the show of wild.