Falling Hard (Dean x Reader) / On Hiatus

Chapter 4

You have never been as excited in your life to talk to Dean. You run through the halls one night, holding the item. You look at it, and it makes you smile again. You know what you were going to ask him to choose was a bit far fetched, but at least if he knew, he would understand. Dean's door is closed, which makes you frown, but you choose to knock still. But then you hear sounds. You open the door a crack, and what you see makes your knees wobbly and you choke out a sob. Dean. With another girl. They don't see you, and you half want to barge in and interrupt them but you don't. You just stand there, taking it all in. You feel hurt and betrayed as you leave the door, trying to shake the images out. You leave the door open and go to your room. You are about to take out your suitcases and start packing, but you are too heartbroken that you know if you even thought of him you'd burst out crying. You rub the gem on your finger, a broken promise to always love you and be by your side. You are sobbing again, sobbing hard, as you run down the halls of the bunker. You run into Cas, and he's looking at you, a bit concerned. After making him promise to do one thing for you, you mouth 'Thank you' before running off again and out of the bunker. You soon reach your destination, the closest bridge you could find. You rip off your engagement ring and hesitate. You breathe deeply, kiss it, then throw it in the ocean. Then you take it out of your pocket. You smile at it softly, the two lines defining your future. You rub the pregnancy test a few times, taking another deep breath before throwing that in the ocean on the other side of the bridge. Finally, with shaking legs, you hoist yourself onto the side of the bridge, and slowly stand up. You take a moment to enjoy the fresh night air, the calming smell of the sea water, the sounds of quiet crickets and other wild life. Then, you jump. Goodbye cruel world. 

You shoot up in your bed, breathing hard. You are sweating a puddle, and your heart is pounding in your chest. As your breathing slows, you take in the information. That was just a dream, right? No, it can't be. It was way too vivid to be just a dream. But what's with the whole engagement thing, and the- You suddenly stop in your tracks, your eyes widening and your breath hitching in your throat. Pregnancy test? I was pregnant!??!??!?!?!?  You don't even realize your hands are instinctively on your stomach. You are still in shock, but you try to blink out of it, feeling the need to share your new information with someone. You fling the door open and dash down the halls, sentences already forming in your mind as your heart races. I, I... No. Don't think right now, just tell Dean and he'll sort out everything. You are so confused as to why this is happening now, but clear your thoughts when you reach Dean's door. You knock once, twice, three times, each getting more urgent and loud. The door finally swings open, revealing a very grouchy Dean with a glare on his face.

"What?" he asks, annoyed. You are too excited to care, and just want to tell him the news.

"Dean, I.. I just had a dream, more like a memory..." you say urgently, rushing, and stop to slow your breathing. Dean looks slightly less annoyed.

"What is it? Tell me, y/n, and we can help," he says, and you nod, still out of breath.

"I had a dream, I... I..." you pause, thinking hard. What was the dream about? What happened? Why can't I remember? You think even harder, trying to remember what had happened. But you can't. And now you stand there, looking like an idiot, in front of Dean's door.

"Y/n?" he asks, his face concerned. You are panicking inside. Why can't I remember!?!?!

"I..." you stutter, embarrassed and ashamed. Think, y/n, THINK! But you can't remember anything. Not one little detail.

"I don't remember anymore, I'm trying, but I..." you trail off, tears forming in your eyes. Why am I so useless!??! I have a memory and all of a sudden I can't remember it? You let a tear slip from your eye, and Dean takes you in his arms.

"It's okay, y/n." You bury your face in his chest, inhaling his scent and finding warmth and comfort there. After a while, he pats your back then lets you go. You want to complain, but don't.

"How about you stay in my room for the night? And if you have another dream you can tell me." he says, and you nod, still ashamed and angry at yourself. He leads you into his room and closes the door, and you once again bask in the feeling of security that is his room. But you are still thinking.

Why the hell am I so useless?