My mental health story

2012

2012-2014 were some of the hardest years of my life. So here's a bit of back round about these years.
2012- Me and my nanny were extremely close we got along so well. She was my best friend cause I was getting bullied at school even though I was only 5 I was still getting bullied for my appearance ect. The days I went to my nannies after school were the best days. I knew I could run into her arms after the hardest of days and just cry all i wanted. There was no one or anything that could come between us. Most of the time I wished she was my mum. Growing up me and my mum have had similar experiences she was very close to my nanny and Granda growing up. I never got to meet my Granda cause he was dead by the time I was born. I seen pictures of him and my nanny told me stories all about how much of an amazing man he was. I wished I got to meet him tho. We had bought her opera house tickets that year for the Christmas Eve pantomime. I was so excited for my nanny to come with us. Then a day after school I got news I never wanted to hear my mum said "Nannys sick" I burst out in tears then and there in the middle of school grounds. I said through all my tears "Is she going to be alright will she make it?" And my mum simply replied with "I can't say yes sweetie" and that's when I said not my nanny. I begged and begged her to go and see nanny so I was allowed to. I ran into her arms and cried my eyes out and said nanny I love you over and over again. Seeing the tears in her eyes broke my heart into pieces. About a week passed and I thought everything's going to be alright my Nannys a hero, heroes can't die, right?  I was wrong😭. I got taken out of school early and seen was going home but it was a day to go to my nannies not home. I got home and my mum broke the news to me with tears in her eyes. "Nannys gone princess she's with Granda" and I just burst out in absolute tears not knowing what to do. Only being a five year old I said why couldn't u have took me instead. 2 weeks passed and I still hadn't have gone back to school cause I was waiting until after the funeral. The day of the funeral came. I was in tears. I was broken. I had to be taken out of the funeral cause of how much I was crying. A few days after the funeral I went back to school.