My mental health story

My mental health

In 2017 i had a talk about suicide,selfharm,bullying and cyber bullying and stuff like that. I was getting very badly bullied at this point and I would often come home from school crying. I got through it tho and kept positive and thought of my nanny and Granda.
2018 came around I started high school. I started to change.
I got bullied some more.
I thought I could get through it.
I met a best friend called Erin on the first day.
I got Instagram.
Along with Instagram came with serious cyber bullying.
I told my form teacher.
She did nothing
That's when it became to much. I took a pair of scissors. Held it to my wrist and went for it. It was a feeling of relief so I came back from school and did it the days I was struggling. One day in pe class I forgot my hoodie. Worst thing of my life! So I walked up to my friend that knew what I had done and said "hey can I maybe borrow your cardigan I forgot my hoodie?" She said yeah sure and gave me it. What I didn't realise is that someone had seen. My best friend which I tried to hide it from told my form teacher. My form teacher had a word with me about it and sent me to the nurses office to have 1-1 meetings// counciling I hated it. She didn't ask to see my arms because she didn't think they could be that bad because I was usually a happy girl who hid my emotions.
Another Monday morning. Another 1-1. But this one was way different. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt under my blazer as I walked in and set my bag on the chair next to me my blazer got caught on my bag and the sleeve to my blazer rolled up and she seen. She seen it all. I cried. Said I'm sorry and cried more. She said everything going to be alright. Then she said "I'm going to have to tell your mum tho". My heart skipped a few beats.
I was sitting in French and I got a phone call so I walked out of the room without telling my teacher. It was my mum phoning me. I picked up and she was crying and asking if I was ok n all. She was in work she she said "I've gtg princess but I love u if u ever need anything I'm always here for u" with that I burst out into tears and my French teacher waked out with an angry look on her face and she seen I had been crying. She gave me the warmest smile and said "are u okay" I said "idk miss" then I burst into tears. She let me skip the rest of the lesson and gave me a note to show teachers that I had permission to be out of class.
The end of the day came and my mum picked me up for the first time. I Usually had to get a bus Home because I live 10 miles away from my school and she gave me the biggest hug.

I wrote this at the time of the event and its August now and I have had episodes of cutting inbetween now and then but it's gotten somewhat better.