i know we'd be so complicated.

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He kissed me harshly and held me tight but seemed to be pushing me away all at once. I hated this but everytime I told myself that, I kept wanting more. I grabbed onto Finn's waist and pulled him as close to me as possible.His tongue flicked the bottom of my lip as I felt his fingers grip onto my butt, I jumped and threw him off me. "What the fuck?"
I looked him dead in the eyes and reached down to put my shirt over my head, "I said you can't touch my ass, strictly no ass grabbing."
He made that face he makes when he acts like he doesn't understand something but really does, and I HATE it. "What are you talking about? that's never been a rule." he sat down but wasn't bothered to put his shirt back on. I rolled my eyes at him as I gathered my stuff, "you know.. most girls let their boyfriends do that kind of stuff-" I cut him off quickly "well you aren't my boyfriend." I crossed my arms and rolled my tongue to the side of my mouth. He stood up and looked down at me slightly, as if he were trying to intimidate me "I could be, you  already don't like it when I see anyone else you know." I shoved him out of my way and picked up my bag off his bed to put my belongings into it. He grabbed onto my wrist and held it tight "hey!-" he cut me off and covered my mouth with his whole hand. "sit down." I nodded and sat down with his hand  still covering my mouth, he let go and then sat down in front of me and pulled me onto his lap.  "you need to loosen up, relax a bit. I get it, you don't want a relationship. I just wish you wouldn't be so uptight all the time" I sighed and covered my face with my hands, but then thought to myself, why should I feel sorry? he's the one that crossed the line in the first place. He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, I  threw his arms off me and jumped up off his lap. "don't disobey my rules and we won't have these problems." He looked puzzled, but didn't stand up. "I'll see you tomorrow" I told him but he didn't say anything, he seemed too frazzled. I rushed out the door and walked home as quick as a could.

Part of me didn't know why I was so upset in the first place, it wasn't really a big deal it's just the fact he wasn't following my rules.
About a week or two before now, Finn and I agreed that kissing was okay but sex was a big no no. I mean, maybe eventually? I've thought about sex with Finn and I don't really know if it's what I want. He's great but I don't wanna get too attached to him. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.. but then again he doesn't like it when I'm interested in other people and I don't like like it when he is interested in other people, and we aren't even boyfriend and girlfriend.

I snapped out of my thoughts when there was a knock on my door, "may I come in?" it was a whisper with a faked Russian accent and I couldn't help but chuckle lightly "you may". My eldest sister Jenna opened the door and creeped in whilst shutting it behind her. Jenna was tall, around 6'2 I suppose? I consider that tall. She was a natural brunette but over the years had gone from colour to colour, and currently had a jet black coloured shoulder length hair cut. She wore blue pj's and had her hair in a low bun, "I had to lie for you again." I sighed when I instantly knew what she was talking about, "oh my god, I'm sorry I forgot to call." "It's fine, I just told mom you were with liz." I nodded and smiled to her, Jenna saved my ass constantly since I always forgot to call my mom to tell her when I'd be home. "Where did you go?" she raised a brow a bit and I shrugged "I was with Finn." She gave me the kind of ah okay i see facial expression and which I hated, "you really need to stop seeing him or just make things official, you're gonna break that boy's heart Mills." I rolled my eyes and lay on my back with my arms crossed under my head, "I told you, I don't want that. I like things the way they are, we both stick to it anyway, he's not my boyfriend but I hate the idea of him with someone who isn't me and it's the same thing for me with him." "but that's awful! you two spend so much time together you might as well be dating." I sighed and stayed quiet hoping she would leave, I wasn't really in the mood for a Jenna Brown pep-talk at the moment. But I think she got the hint quite quickly because she just upped and left without saying a word.

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