Books, Boys, and Basketball: Junior Year

FREEFALLING

It's the day before Thanksgiving and I'm sick to my stomach with grief over my breakup with Drew. Some days I'm fine and I'm over it, but there are days like today where all I want is to hear his voice or lay in his arms while we watch a movie or something. I hate that I've messed things up this badly between us.

With nothing but time to think, I accept that Quincy has grown on me like cancer I never asked for, nor do I want.

How?

Who knows?

Why?

Your guess is as good as mine...

All I know is whenever being with Drew makes me feel insecure or inadequate, I can always count on Quincy to make me feel beautiful and secure again. He has a way of looking at me that makes me feel sexy, wanted, and desired. And I need that.

Especially with Drew always having a harem of girls fawning all over him to boost his ego...

I'm feeling so glum that I can't even convince myself to get out of bed. I don't want to spend Thanksgiving without Drew.

He's my world.

And I'm supposed to be his.

Sitting up in bed, I text Drew and hope he responds. To my surprise, he calls me a minute later. "Hello?" My lips curl up into an immovable smile.

"Can I come in?" He asks.

"Come in where?"

Laughing, he says, "Your house."

I climb out of bed and look out my bedroom window, but he isn't there. "Where are you?"

"Front porch."

Taking a quick look in the mirror, I fix myself up before heading to the front door. Sure enough, Drew is standing there looking like a million bucks. He smells good too, which only makes my heartthrob with the pain of missing him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. "I thought you were done with me."

He laughs, but he ignores my comment. And for a moment we stand there in awkward silence, staring at each other until he takes me by the hand and pulls me into his arms.

"You make it hard to stay mad at you," he kisses me on top of my head.

It feels good to have him in my arms again. And to smell his cologne. That scent haunts me to no end with thoughts and memories of him. So, I breathe in a lungful.

"I hate this," I sulk.

"I know. Me too."

"I miss you like crazy."

Again, he laughs. "I miss you too, Sid. I'm still mad at you, and I've probably watched that tape about a hundred more times since we broke up, but lately, you're all I've been thinking about," he kisses my forehead again. "I miss hearing your goofy ass laugh. You're the only girl I know that can go toe-to-toe with me and still stand your ground. You're also the only girl I can talk to about the NBA and basketball that doesn't roll her eyes."

We both laugh. "I'm sure Nicole would give it a valiant effort if she knew it would lead to her being your girlfriend."

"Yeah, but with you, I know it's real. We both breathe the same way and we bleed basketball from every pore in our bodies. I know what I said to you before and I'm sorry. I got scared," Drew sighs. "Your feelings for Q scare me. Knowing you have feelings for him is like having an ax hanging over my head all the time, and I don't know when that ax is gonna come down to take me away from everything I love."