magnets | ethma

20

Emma

Living this life was so hard without him. It's been 2 months. I have never experienced this sort of crave in my life. This kind of want showed me that I loved Ethan.

The way he looked after me all these years just shows that he feels the same.

I can't imagine how he feels right now, he'll feel so abandoned again and that fucking breaks my heart. My soul needs to see him or I will break.

It's then that I decided i'm gonna write to him because I knew there's no way Mom would give my phone back because she's so keen on trying to give me this new life.

But I don't want to live a life without him.

I grabbed some paper and a pen and sat down at my vanity desk. I didn't even know where to start. So I didn't think about what I was gonna say, I just let my hand decide what needed to be said.

Ethan,

All I can say is sorry and how much I'm struggling to not see your handsome face everyday. I didn't know I was gonna be away for so long. Mom got me here by saying we were staying for a week but the day we actually arrived Nana and Mom told me I'm staying here, permanently.

I don't want to at all and my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest. I need you so bad. I have no phone and this place is in the middle of nowhere. This is my life now. Mom said it's for the better, no phone- no psychotic Dad but she's stripping me from society, from you.

They want me to forget about you. About everyone. I can't do it and I won't so please come see me.

I'm in 1100 W Highland Acres Road, Bismarck, Delaware which is a couple hours away. Meet me at the Wawa Cafe on the 12th of  March at 2:00pm. I'll be counting down the days.

I need you.

All my love,

Emma.

Signing it off was hard because in some weird way writing it made me feel connected to him, knowing it'll be in his hands soon.

I wanted to give him something in the letter but instead I put some lipstick over my lips and kissed the white paper.

Nana's got to have a stamp and envelope somewhere. I tiptoed around each room of the house and searched each cupboard and drawer.

I didn't wanna be loud because they would question and if they saw I was trying to contact Ethan they would probably rip the paper up.

I finally found it in Nana's room, in a cupboard of some set of drawers. God, it was hard to quiet because the floors would creak every move I made.

"Emma?"

I heard the door open and immediately shoved the envelope and stamp into my pocket. Nana was quite slow so I didn't see her actual face till seconds after.

"You okay, my darling?" She questioned.

"I'm great Nana! What about you?" I stood up quickly and tried to walk past her- trying not to blow my cover.

"I'm good too. Chicken stew for dinner!"

"Oh... yum!" I said, trying to sound happy. Backing up into my room and closing the door.

I grabbed the letter and sat on my bed with the stamp, pen and envelope. I folded the letter and slipped it into the envelope. I wrote the address on it and used my tongue to seal my secrets.

I held the letter close to him and prayed to God that in 12 days I got to see my Ethan.

I couldn't wait to post it and knew he had to see it too. I told Nana I was going to feed the cows and she didn't even assume anything else. That was the best part, no one was gonna stop me from talking to Ethan.

As the foggy weather walked with me to the letterbox, I thought about Olivia. Does she care? I should of wrote her a letter too. I'm such a bad friend.

I looked at the letter once more before dropping it in the box. It made adrenaline run throughout me but also some fear, maybe we would get caught.

I can't afford that.

Ethan

"E, there's a letter for you." Grayson threw it on my bed and left straight after.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

That's kinda fucking weird. Why would I have a letter? I thought maybe from school or the doctor but then I saw the writing on the front and could tell straight away.

Emma.

I looked at the envelope hoping it would reveal everything in it without me touching it.

I was scared to read it honestly. I mean, she really could say anything...

"What's that baby?"

"Uh, nothing." I shrugged playing it cool when really my heart hurt and was beating so hard against my chest.

She sat next to me. "Let's get back to what we were doing..." Serena smirked.

Usually that turns me on and I'd be on her like fucking magnet but there's a girl that is miles away who's just sent me a letter and we've been like magnets since she first smiled at me.

A smile is all I needed from Emma to turn me on.

I shouldn't compare them, they're very different. I met Serena a week after Emma left and it's been a nice distraction.

We've just been spending time together.

I felt guilty for being with her sometimes and each time we fucked but it's like each time I did it I was getting my frustration out. I even imagined Emma under me.

I stayed at home so Serena could lay in my bed instead of in the Hut. I couldn't go in that space, it reminds me of her so much. My bed would still smell like her.

I would be lying if I said some nights I didn't leave Serena and go sleep in the guest room that I shared my last night with Emma.

It felt so fucking wrong thinking about it and that's why I now had my hand down Serena's pants and she was moaning softly.