The Hater, Behide The Computer.
I ran into my house, tears streaming down my face like everyday after school. My mother was in a dirty white tank top and to big for her, jeans. She was sitting at the crumple covered wooden table, smoking her disgusting cigar. Seeing the smoke leaving her mouth in a long trail made my eyes water and my nose burn.
"Home crying again? Why don't you grow up you freakin' baby" she called to me. I wiped my eyes on my purple sweater i got from value village. I looked over at her and sneered.
"Don't call me a baby!"
"Oh but you area baby, worthless too. Other wise people wouldn't be laughing at you, am i right?" she smashed the nub of her cigarette on the table, making the ashes spill around it onto the already ash covered table. She turned around in her chair, her greasy jet black hair falling off her shoulder.
"Worthless like a cigarette nub" with those words, she threw the nub at me. It hit my forehead, leaving alittle dot of ashes and a burning sensation. She got up from the table, a grunt leaving her lips. She walked over to me and smacked me hard on the back of the head as she passed. She grabbed her pleather jacket off the very old jacket hanger.
"I'm going out, if the accidents starts crying take care of it" She opened the door and was about to leave when i said the comment that entered my mind.
"Going to spend the last of dads will on your useless drugs?" my voice full of attitude hit her hard. She turned around, her eyes hard and black.
"The hell did you just say to me!? I AM YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER!" i knew it was coming, knew it more then i knew that i was right. She ran up to me -I braced myself- and slapped me across the face. The tingling sense wasn't like when you touch the hand of your crush, it was like getting...well a smack in the face.
She glared at me "No, i am not. I'm getting food for myself and the accident, after that snarly comment your lucky if i even buy you a loft of bread" she turned back around and walking out of the door, leaving it open. I ran to the open door and looked over at her getting into the very old rusty red car.
"LOVE YOU TO MOMMY!" i called. I could see her climbing back out of her car to slap me again, so i quickly slammed the door. Locking and placing the chain on it, i ran to the living room window -that could really use a cleaning-. She was getting back into her car, mumbling to herself.
Lie's crying came from upstairs, or "The accident" my mother calls her. She named her Lie because the doctors lied and said we were having a boy when we actually had a girl. Half way between her pregnancy my dad died and my mother turned to drugs and let herself go.
Luckly Lie (i call her Lily) was perfectly fine, no mental or phycial damage she just was born really skinny but that's okay. I walked up to the, if you can call it a nursery. It just had a crib and a closet with random junk in it.
I walked up to the side of the crib and held the small child in my 14 year old arms. Her tiny body was not heavy, she was weightless. Buying food my butt, Lily is starving and all mom cares about is herself. I felt a tear run down my cheek and land on Lils poor small round head. I rocked her back and forth, sniffling once and awhile. She finally went back to sleep and i placed her into her crib.
I closed her door quietly so she would not awaken. I turned and walked further down the hallway to my room. There was a old bed, a nightstand and a closet half full with value village clothing. I grabbed my laptop that my father bought for me before he pasted. He also bought me a internet stick because he knew my mom wouldn't be able to keep up with the internet bill.
I opened it and clicked on the twitter tab. I lived for twitter, that's where my only friends actually were. People knew what i looked like from my twitter picture, and they treated me like an actual human being. I scrolled threw my twitter, repling to my friends and looking at the celebrities i followed.
One Direction were the main ones, their songs made me happy. I composed a new tweet:
"My roller coaster that is life, just did a loopy-loop" i clicked tweet then opened a new window to youtube. Searching for One Directions new song, Live While Were Young. I paused it so it could load. Stupid slow internet.
When it was finally done i clicked play and One Direction quietly filled my room, instantly putting a smile on my face. I started dancing around and singing the lyrics, jumped on my bed, even though my mattress was soon to be broken.
"I WANNA LIVE WHILE WERE YOUNG, I WANNA LIVE WHILE WERE-" my bedroom was opened so fast that it hit off the wall.
"Shut that garbage off!" my mom threw a loft of bread at me.
"That's all you get this week, so turn off the damn music!" she left as quickly as she entered. I ran to my door she left open, habit of hers.
"I HATE YOU!" i yelled then slammed my door. Deja Vu happened next, my mother came into my room again screaming that she was "My damn mother" a damn mother indeed. She slapped me twice this time then left, actually closing the door for once.
My anger bubbled inside, and i knew exactly what i needed to do to get rid of this. I flung myself on my bed and screamed into my pancake flat pillow. I then hastily grabbed my laptop off the floor where i put it. I logged out of my current twitter and logged onto my hate one.
My hate one, is the account i wish i didn't start. I posted the meanest tweets about celebrities, mostly One Direction. Even though i loved them more then anything. I was the one to start most rumors, but it made me feel so much better about myself. Being mean to them somehow made me feel less bad about myself.
I composed a new tweet, having the most bullcrap i've ever read but i still tweeted it out like it was the most true and coolest thing ever:
"Good to know Louis broke up with his ugly girlfriend, whatever her name is! FUGLY CHICK!!!!!" i tweeted it out, adding more to my guilt. But it took away the feelings of anger. Almost instantly i started getting replied back to:
"Eleanor is NOT ugly! And they are still very much together!"
"You're alittle liar! Their still together, you stupid piece of crap!" that one didn't hurt me, got called that all the time by my mother. But the one that made the tears take over was the most truthful one i've ever read.
"You were most likely fan of them. What happened? You know you mean NONE of this! You know you feel terrible tweeting this stuff. Stop." my tears started to water. Soon tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. What have i done?
I started to compose the last tweet ever on my hate account:
"I'm sorry One Direction. i have a tough life and this was my anger control. I'm sorry"
With that, i never went on that account ever again. I closed it after a day so people could see my apology. I still have a hard life, but my guilt is gone.
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So there was this one girl on twitter, who had an account, like mine and yours on twitter. But something happened and she changed it into a hate one. Maybe this happened to her.....
Thanks for read, but people on twitter don't all have a happy life <333
Lots of love, Stay strong
--Dana
"My roller coaster that is life, just did a loopy-loop" -Dana (Some help from Zayn Malik <3)
