Ugly Birds in a Beautiful Cage \\ FRANSYKES

5

I stood in line for the showers, incessantly tapping my fingers against my thigh. I was on edge for two reasons. Firstly, it had been a couple of days since the cocaine supply Josh gave me had worn off and I was getting a little anxious. I had been fine since my stay here, but feeling that high again was so good and now that it was gone I needed it back.

Secondly I was on edge because Josh was standing in line behind me. We had walked here together, not even talking. What did that mean? Were we suddenly friends again? Surely not. Did he want to torment me? I had no clue. Even back in high school I was always unsure of what he wanted from me. He would always be so hot and cold, mostly hot though.

Right now we were just in such an odd situation, but after our conversation a few days ago, the first time we really talked, I felt a little more calm about where we stood with each other. He didn't seem that mad anymore. If I were him, I would hate me and never forgive me. Perhaps he was more forgiving than I was, or maybe he had a lot of time in here to get over it.

"You're up." Josh's husky voice spoke close to my ear. His warm breath sent shivers through me and I silently cursed myself.

I wasn't paying attention, but I looked up, seeing someone walking out. He was closely followed by another man, meaning there was now room for both Josh and myself. I stepped into the shower rooms, my lungs filling with the steam. We had gotten here early so that meant more hot water.

"Looks like we'll be showering next to each other. Just like old times." Josh said quietly.

I glanced at him and he grinned wickedly, nodding over to the two free showers side by side. I didn't say a thing as I went over to them. I set my things to the side and undressed, all while avoiding Josh's glances. I knew he was glancing at me. I could see out of the corner of my eye.

I rolled my eyes and stepped under the shower head, turning the water on. The warmth hit my body and seemed to relax me instantly. I really needed this. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply. It wouldn't be long now until I was out of this place. I couldn't say I hated it in here, because I didn't. It wasn't that bad, I suppose. It was just tedious.

I wanted to get high again. That much I knew. I liked feeling like I was soaring. I liked how it made my problems seem so minuscular. I opened my eyes and looked at Josh who was naked and washing himself. I kept my eyes above his waist though.

"Oi." I got his attention. He looked over at me.

"Do you have any more?" I asked.

He grinned and shook his head, "Not for you."

"Please, Josh." I whispered.

"Watch yourself. You're bordering the line of being pathetic." He said with a smirk.

I huffed and turned my back on him. It wasn't that I was an addict. I could go without the drugs without having a break down. I just really wanted to feel that high one more time in here. It made the day go by quicker.

I finished my shower quickly and hastily got dried and dressed. I didn't want to hang around there any longer with Josh, especially since every time I looked at him I was torn between utter hatred, and an annoying sense of temptation. It was a good thing that in a couple of months I'll be gone and won't have to consider all these confusing feelings.

I slowly and cautiously walked along the corridors, just wandering around. I was a little paranoid, to be honest. I had been beaten up twice now, the second time a lot worse than the first. At any second it could happen again and there was no way of stopping it. I didn't even have to do anything and that man could come back and attack me.