Ugly Birds in a Beautiful Cage \\ FRANSYKES

7

A couple of days after I talked to Kellin I was still feeling a bit off about everything. I was being an avoider. I wanted to avoid what Kellin had told me except it was hitting me hard. I wanted to avoid Josh most of all because the absolute moron told me he loved me. He had no right whatsoever to do that.

I stayed in my cell while the majority of inmates had lunch. I was waiting for the last possible minute to go. I had been doing that with everything lately. It was a simple way of avoiding everyone around me. I had even been avoiding Lee as much as I could being cellmates. I had been a bit off in my own world lately.

I was starving for lunch so I ended up finally giving in and going. When I got there there weren't many people, or a lot of options, not that I cared. I dished up some basic food, sat down and began to eat.

It wasn't very long of shoveling food down my throat when the last person I wanted to see walked through the doorway. It wasn't Josh. It was the scum and his pathetic henchmen who had beat me up. My appetite was lost. Of course he spotted me straight away and came towards me with a smirk on that hideous mug of his.

"Haven't seen you around lately." The ring leader said to me.

I said nothing. I didn't want to aggravate him. I had learnt when to keep my mouth shut.

"You gonna eat that?" He asked and pointed to an apple on my tray.

"No." I said, not wanting a fight.

The guy snarled and snatched the apple off the tray. He grinned, showing his broken teeth before biting into it. He laughed and that was that. He went off to the rest of the food. Not wanting anymore trouble, I got up and dumped my tray then left.

That feeling of being intimidated was back and all it did was remind me of how horrible of a person I was. With that thought in mind I had to get some fresh air. When I did get outside to the courtyard it was refreshing. After spending as much time as possible in my cell, finally getting outside what exactly what I needed.

I avoided the main crowd, wandering around the edge of the walls that confined me in here. Once I got further enough away from the chatter and shouting, I stopped. I hadn't planned to stop, but I did when I heard noises from outside. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on the wall.

If I really, really tried I could hear all the life that went on outside these walls. I could hear the cars. I could hear people laughing from a distance away. I didn't realize until now just how much I wanted to be out there. Sure, my stay was only two months and there were only a few weeks left, but I craved being outside, but at the same time was terrifying.

Being back out there on my own again was a scary thought. I couldn't get better like Kellin said. It was near impossible for someone like me. I was destined to fail.

"People will think you're crazy if you keep this up." The voice in my ear surprised me.

I opened my eyes and spun around. Standing all too close to me was Josh. His little smirk fell and his gaze went a bit more serious.

"Hey." He said.

In my mind it was a fight or flight deal. I didn't want to talk to Josh because I knew exactly how the conversation would end.

"Hi." Was all I said before moving past him.

I headed back inside. I wasn't even nearly done with getting the fresh air I needed, but I sure was done with communicating with Josh. I went straight to my cell which was thankfully empty. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up.