Ugly Birds in a Beautiful Cage \\ FRANSYKES

4

I had gotten so bored in here that I actually resorted to getting a book out from the library. Sure, it was graphic novel, but at least it provided some sort of entertainment. The days in here seemed to go by so slowly. No matter what I did, time would never speed up.

I stuck to my cell most of the time. Other than eating, showering, or when they forced us to go outside, I stayed in my cell. Right now was what I guess you could call free time. The cells stayed open and inmates were allowed to wander around either the yards, or inside wherever we were permitted to go. During this time, I stayed put, sitting up on the top bunk.

There was a reason I was hiding out in here. Josh. I had been all kinds of messed up since I saw him. I tried not to let him get to me. I tried to push it all away. I shouldn't care about him, but in all honesty, when he just up and left me two years ago, I was completely shattered.

Seeing him again brought everything back. I thought I had gotten over it. I thought I put that chapter of my life behind me, but now I was within these walls with no means of escaping him. The asshole made me fall for him and he didn't give a damn when he broke up with me.

Then again, his words were floating around in my mind. He said he cared. I had a tough time believing that though. Josh never cared about anyone except himself. Perhaps that was what attracted me to him. We were alike. I didn't much care for anyone else either. I didn't want to. Any kind of warm and fluffy feeling I would push away from me in a second. It didn't do me or anyone else any good.

I was trying so hard to figure out what I felt for Josh. Other than hurt, I was confused. It was like I had my feelings for him on hold for two years and now I didn't know what to do with them. I was scared too. He was so mad at me when we talked. I'd be lucky if he didn't end up killing me in here. I wouldn't blame him. I would kill me too.

I flipped through another page of my book, completely disinterested in what I was actually reading. I was about to give up and maybe even consider going for a walk, but those plans changed the second someone appeared at the door.

In a second I had snapped the book shut and jumped off the top bunk. I stood a few feet away from Josh, keeping my walls built up and my defensive stance on. He stepped forward and leant against the frame of the bed with his arms crossed.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Retract the claws, Oli. I'm not here for a fight." He said. His tone was vastly different to the last time I spoke to him. He didn't sound angry at all. I didn't really know what kind of emotion was going through him.

"What do you want?" I asked a little more calmly.

"To talk to you so I don't lose my mind." He said casually.

He sat on the edge of the mattress of the bottom bunk. I watched him skeptically. I didn't trust him. One second he was looking at me like he wanted to tear me apart, and now he's calmly having a conversation with me. I didn't get it. I didn't get him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to see you in here every day and not sort this bullshit out?" He asked.

My first instinct was to argue, but I actually agreed with him. Every time I saw him, as much as I wanted to ignore him and run in the opposite direction, I also felt the strong urge to speak to him. I missed speaking to him, as much as I didn't want to admit that.

"What's there to sort out?" I asked cautiously.

He gave me an 'are you being serious?' look. Obviously we had things to sort out, but it felt a little pointless.