Losing hope

-I love you-

"The smile that you gave
me
Even when you felt like
dying"

-Billie Eilish

Good morning,Sadie. How's your day?

He asked as if nothing happened.

As if both hearts right now weren't in pain. Aching.

As if both weren't craving to kiss each other,  hug each other, to just simply touch each other. To feel every cell in their body be helplessly intertwined with the others.

As if the "I love you's" and the "me too's" didn't happen.

As if they didn't realize that no matter what, those "I love you's" and those "me too's" aren't enough. They will never be enough.

As if he didn't plead, beg with tears in his eyes to at least try.

He asked her how her day was.

As if she didn't just lose it all.

It's perfect, Finn. Yours?

5 years after the final season of ST...
5 years after their break up...

"We have a surprise for all you nerds. For the fist time in 5 years since the release of the final season we have together once again our favorite cast playing a round of dig dug ! Give a big Hawkins welcome to our powerful Mage, Millie Bobby brown, Her pladin, Finn Wolfhard. Noah schnapp as our Cleric, Caleb McLaughlin as our ranger, Gaten Matarazzo  is our bard and of course Sadie sink as our bad ass Mad Max. Hey guys welcome back."

"Thank you for having us back, Jimmy." Millie said in her wonderful bubbly voice she always had.

He missed this. He missed his friends. He loves them and he truly regrets losing contact with them. Finn gets that their wasn't much he could've really done, they all had such busy life's after the show ended and it became almost impossible to have them all in the same room.

He still texted Millie every few days. She'd usually just ask his opinion on certain topics or ask for help writing some songs.

He did lose contact with Noah though. Doesn't quite remember when was the last time he actually had a conversation with him. All he knows is that Noah is doing amazingly, got a few more French roles and is working on a new horror movie, which Finn has to admit he can't wait to see because Noah and horror don't exactly mix.

He misses Faleb. A lot. Caleb was one of the few people he could just talk to about everything and always walk away from a conversation feeling so happy. They did hang out a lot after the show but when Finn went back home to Canada to work on a new album and Caleb moved to Europe for a new movie, it was hard to keep that dynamic going.

Finn and Gaten are probably the only ones who actually talk on a regular basis. They've spent most of the time just hanging out since gaten moved back to New York and it's closer for either to visits each other. Finn truly is grateful to still have such a close friend.

And Sadie. God their wasn't a day in those 5 years he didn't think of her. Dream of her. Their isn't a day he wishes he could change it all. He doesn't regret those months together, the memories they made, the sweet lingering kisses they'd give each other every night. The short hello pecks every morning. The quick squeeze she'd give his hand to assure him everything was okay whenever he'd start to panic. He misses just hugging her. Feeling her hair tickling his chin. He doesn't ever want to change any of that. But the pain of losing her. The pain of knowing that what they felt wasn't enough for both is what he'd change. He'd change that in a heart beat because It's been five years and he still misses her like the first day.

"Sadie, it's great your here, I heard your plane had gotten delayed."  Jimmy said bringing Finn back to reality.

"Yeah, it's great to be here, and yes my flight was delayed 3 hours so I just you know looked for another flight and came here straight form the airport. I love these guys and I missed them. I wanted to see them."

Amongst the aw's and oh's the two made eye contact that just melted them. Both their eyes begging for each other. Wanting nothing more then to be right next to each other rather then opposite sides of the couch.

"All of them?" jimmy asked, maybe with a hint of suggestion. But Sadie was to entranced to care

"Yes," She said. "All of them." She whispered out looking at him. And only at him. Because after  five years, she still thinks of him.she listens to him and remembers how he played for her, how he wrote those songs for her. How he tried to make it work. How through it all. He was still always there. After five years, god she still missed him. But, she knew she had to live on. It's been five years.

They'll go out to eat, the whole cast. But it might as well just be Sadie and Finn because as soon as they have a chance to talk, they don't stop. All night long the conversation never went stale. It filled them both with joy to have that friendship still there.

And then when he asks about her boyfriend, she doesn't at all miss the broken expression on his face. It's there for a second but she sees it. She sees that he's still hurting but she doesn't blame him. It hurts her too, but it's been five years. She wishes things could've been different too. She wishes that those "I love you's" and "me too's" were enough. But Sadie knows that their not, they never will be.

Up  to you to decide why it didn't work out🤘🏻 my fadie heart ♥️  anyway night loves