Losing hope

-Lovely-

"Hello,
welcome
Home."
-Billie Eilish

Part I

Sadie would be lying if she'd said it hadn't gotten this bad. The problem is that now everybody knows.

His struggles with his anxiety and depression were things Finn was okay with talking about. He felt that more he shined a light on the issue, the more understanding people would be when he'd inevitably freaks out. It seems like a good plan except, Finn never did anything to help himself. Yes, he had his anxiety medication, but when mixed with alcohols it doesn't make things better. It makes them worse actually. So much worse.

"You don't want to help yourself." Sadie declared as she tried picking up  her fiance' from the floor and getting him onto their hotel room bed.

It was Oscar night. Both Sadie and Finn where nominated for some of their recent work. The night had been amazing until the moment leading up to best Actress. All that keeps running through her head is Finn obnoxiously cheering, making inappropriate jokes and gestures and the icing on the cake? Booing the actress that did win. It was in that second that Sadie decided enough was enough and began walking away. Finn immediately noticing ran after the red head, still yelling out how his future wife was the best and the academy was too fucked up to see that.
If he wasn't  high , drunk and if it wasn't filmed and broadcasted to the whole world, Sadie would've laughed. Would've told him he's too kind and maybe even agree on half that statement. But he was, had been for the past few days, and honestly there's a limit that Finn hit a long time ago.

She's with him for the simple fact that she loves him. She loves this dork like crazy and she never thought he could do anything to make her question it all. Yet here she is stuck in her hotel room with her fiancé who's too fucked up to even stand instead of the oscars after party celebrating.

"Sades come on, I didn't even do anything wrong ." The boy (yes, the boy. He's acting like a child) said through slurred words that she only understood from how often she's heard it.

"God, are you serious?" She was furious now. Sadie hardly ever yelled so  the fact that she did now pulled Finn back to earth in a heart beat."You humiliated us" Sadie turned her back on him who was now on the bed. She walked towards the window on her right, sitting on the chair moving to face away from him.She can't even look at him. " you humiliated me" She whispered.

And th-that pain, that hurt, the breaking in her voice. That was a sound that completely shredded his heart. "Baby please. I just- come to bed. I don't want to fight." He selfishly said. Finn's never been good with confrontation and putting things to the side was his strong suit.

"I don't want to fight either." She stood up grabbing her purse once again and walking towards the door.

"Sadie where are you going?" he panicked as he saw his fiance walking out on him.

"i cant do this right now, not when youre like this." she walks out, leaving him questioning everything. and by the time hes finally processed what just happened, and he walks out into the hall way, shes gone.

He walks back inside the room letting himself fall on the bed. He doesn't sleep. He can't. He just saw the love of his life walk away. He drinks some more trying to numb himself but the pain of knowing that he is the reason she left won't fade. Sadie left, she's didn't even argue. He would take her yelling at him any day. But he pushed her, so she left.

You fucking idiot.Look at what you fucking did.