living with guys as a undercover street fighter

I Just Dont Feel The Same !

BACCKKK LOVELLYSS anyways Ima going to try uploads every or every other Tuesday so yeahh .

Read reaad reaad reaad

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I grabbed my phone and plugged in my headphones as soon as l got in the car. I did want to talk to no one. I turned on my pandora radio station, Frank Ocean.

I bobbed my head to Super Rich Kids from his recent album. The drive was eerily silent I knew Tristan was thinking very hard about something, probably why I pleaded guilty. We were now in our drive way there was a weird looking car I never seen before. Whatever I don't really care. I knew Tristan wanted to talk so I waited patiently for him to talk.

" why did you plead guilty," he said.

" Cause I don't give a shit anymore," my voice was cold and my eyes were empty.

I got out the car. I walked inside everyone was waiting I plug my earphones back in like nothing happened today, as if I was a regular day.

I opened my bedroom door their stood the one person who began all my anger. My father aka Ronald.

" Hi baby girl," he stated. After three years all he had to say was 'hi baby girl'

" cut the shit Ronald what do you want," my words were laced with annoyance.

" I want you to come and live with my family, if you want of course," he said sweetly ignoring my rude hello.

" No! I don't what kind of fool do you take me for, in what mind do you think I would want to come and live with the family you left my mother. Right after Tristan left you felt the right to cheat because you needed change right," I bellowed. The whole house and neighbors could probably hear I don't give two.

He was speechless " better yet get he fuck out my house you bastard," I screeched.

I walked him to his car. Then walked back into my house. I was slipping fast into my dark zone. I just needed my phone. I clocked it on the counter by Chanie. I walked by ear it looked like we were about to talk to each other. She opened her mouth to say something.

" Save it !,"I spat.

Then retrieving my phone and walking out the Door I went to the one place where I could clear my head this part of the beach where nobody goes because of all the big sharp rocks.

I sat down on the beach with bottle of Patron I got when I stopped by the gas station. My life sucks. Fighting used to be my outlet that I left everything. The one thing I could vent and not feel like a little sissy who's complaining.

I'm turning back to the person I was in New York. Now that I think about it I don't like the person I was there. I'm was always out, barely talking, on revenge.

I feel stuck in a hole six feet deep not able to get. I feels like I was closed end even though I have the whole world to explore.

Maybe I do need to go to my anger management. My first class was on Saturday.

I heard laughter of children. They had the Kool Aid smile going on from ear to ear. They were playing in the warm sand and a few were in the ocean. I missed being a child, being free. The sun began set making you feel like you were in Hawaii. I checked my phone it read 8:00 in the night.

I made my way back to the car on the way I threw my empty bottle in the trash. I got in the car and began to drive home.

The usual people were here. Do they ever go home? I walk to the spring floor room, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. My legs gave out leaving me on the floor and began to weep and sob then weep and sob some more. I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

I looked up, it was Tristan.

" I I I don't even know ... who I am anymore," I said looking into his eyes pleading like he was going to tell me an answer.

I got up from the floor and walked out the room and to my room. Lets just say I cried myself to sleep that night .....

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Hey guys who like the new/old Nickii though. I know it's short but yeah this book I might post again before Next Tuesday

Peace (bring peace back)

Shawtybad33