But I'm a jock and you're a cheerleader

Chapter 32. Porcelain boy

Gabe POV

I pull away to look at Sam and his injuries.....

"What's wrong?" Sam asks as I sit up causing him to do the same.

"You- You're hurt" I stutter out holding both of his hands in mine.

I did this, he's hurt because of me. He's in pain over me. I'm not worth that. Oh my god- Who's blood is that? Is it his? I can't believe it. He's hurt and it's my fault.

"Sam I'm so sorry......" I say as he tilts my chin up.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Angel, those dicks deserved it....." Sam says as I pull away and get up.

"Come on" I say, walking over to where he sits and I gently grab his hand and he gets up.

"What are we doing Angel?" Sam asks as I pull him into the bathroom.

"I'm so sorry, I was so selfish. Here we are talking about me when you're hurt. Sam I'm sorry, I got you hurt......" I say as I sit him down on the shower ledge.

I keep rambling on and on about how much of a horrible person I am as I turn away from Sam and walk over to the sink to get stuff for his knuckles.

I grab bandages and alcohol along with some other stuff and sit down in front of him and start cleaning him up.

"Angel you don't have to do this, you have enough going on" He says, not meeting my gaze.

"Yes I do, you did this because of me. My own family treats me like glass I don't want my boyfriend to do it too. I'm tired of everyone treating me like glass, glass hurts people and that is what you are doing, you are hurting yourself with the glass, look at yourself; you are hurt, you are treating me like I'm porcelain and hurting yourself in the process. I've lived with this my whole life Sam, you never treated me like this before. So please don't start now........" I say looking over his injuries as he stares at me, speechless.

"Gabe" He starts, looking down at me; "believe me you are not glass, I know what glass feels like and that is not you."  He says, barely able to keep eye contact.

Oh my god. Oh my god. He 'knows what glass feels like' no. No. Not my baby.

"Sam" I say, my voice smaller than it was moments ago as I try to keep myself focused on my boyfriends injured hands in front of me.

"Yes Gabe?" He says

I can feel his gaze on me but I can't look up unless I want to start crying.

"You didn't..please tell me you didn't, baby; no" I say on the verge of tears.

"Yes, I did"  He relpys

"No" I say, starting to sob as I twist away so I'm not facing him.

"Yes, I'm so sorry Gabe, I don't want you to cry" he says, sliding down from the tub ledge and puts his legs on either side of me.

I'm still crying when he reaches and pulls me closer so I'm nestled between his legs, "come here, I'm so sorry"

After a couple seconds I curl up tinier than I was before and I finally say something, "when? When was the last time?"

"I haven't since John," he says "it was so horrible but I haven't since John"

"Since- okay," I say before realization hits "Sam, that was only a couple years ago, I knew you, we were close" I say, sobbing harder than I was before.

"Gabe, I know it was only a bit ago and I wish I could have talked to you to cope but it never crossed my mind." He says, rubbing my arms and holding me.

"I'm so sorry Sam, I should-" I start but get interrupted.

"No Gabe, I'm okay, it was only once and it won't happen again. I should be the one saying sorry," he says.

I think it makes it easier because I can't see his face. 

"I shouldn't be treating you like you are going to break at any moment, I think the only reason I am doing it is because when I was hurting and trying to piece myself back together, every time, every single time; they didn't try at all to keep me from breaking again. Just as I was piecing myself back together, I got broken to pieces and I used the sharpest pieces to break myself even more before trying from the lowest of lows to piece myself back together"  he says, hardly able to keep himself from crying.

I turn around in his hold so that I'm facing him and I hold onto him like I've never held before, like I never want to let go.

"Please tell me if you ever even get close to that point again" I whisper into his hair. "Please tell me everything and I will tell you everything" I add.

"I- I promise, I promise." Sam repeats as he clutches me.

"Okay good, good" I say before a couple seconds where nothing but the sound of our tears are heard.

"God" Sam says, starting to sound like he isn't crying anymore.

"What?" I say as a pull away a little, "What's up?"

"That was hard" he says

"Yeah, I know...Really damn hard"

"Yes, But it needed to happen sooner or later" Sam says, as he leans back against the tub a little.

When he leans back I look at his t-shirt,  he took his hoodie off when he came into the bedroom and now is just wearing a white t-shirt.

"OH MY GOD!" I scream as I fully pull away from Sam, noticing the blood all over the front of his shirt.

"What? Gabe what????" He says as I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head in a hurry and start rubbing my hands over his chest and abdomen and starting to feel up his back and shoulders too, back and forth and up and down as I look him over.

"I- um, angel um, what are you-? Um is this really the right time to be like, uhhhh" I hear him stutter out and I look up at him. His face is bright red and he looks flustered.

"What do you mean the 'Right time'? The right time for what? Sam, what did you think I was doing?" I say, genuinely asking him what he thought I was doing when I took his shirt off and examined his body. 

"I- um...what were you doing?" He says as he grabs my hands that were still on his hips and starts laughing.

"Your shirt was covered in a blood," I say  "I was checking to make sure you weren't hurt badly, you got yourself hurt enough for me today and I was worried when I saw the blood." I say, acting like my normal self again.

Speaking of acting like my normal self again, how did it not cross my mind that I'm sitting in front of my boyfriend with my legs around him, practically straddling him and I just pretty much just undressed him.

"I like the view, Sam." I say as I move my hands over his abs one more time, but not in an urgent and worried way this time.

And just as I am doing that The door slams open  "OH MY FUCKING GOD, What is going on here? GABE why are you straddling him? I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS HURT! Where are Sam's clothes? Holy fuck." Luci screams.

God. How are we supposed to explain this one......

Hey guys! It's Rosie, syd was having writers block but still kinda wanted to write but I was a bitch and said that I would do it while we were on the phone, so if this chapter kinda sucks then you know why lol, syd wrote the beginning and I did the rest from there.

Bye for now!