Small Town Talk

Chapter 9 - Old is new

HIS

The next morning I woke to Riva banging on my door

“BEN! BEN YOU LOSER!” she screamed  “You have to fix my car!!”

“No I don’t”  I replied still rubbing sleep from my eyes

“Yes you do, how else I am supposed to get to school?” she grunted

“If I take you to school, will you leave me alone?”

She was quiet for a minute then I heard her back away from the door and turn around.

I walked out of my bedroom and found her laying down on the couch playing with a rubix cube above her head. she had make up on and her bag was by the front door but she was still in her PJ’s .

“I thought you were ready” I said confused

“I’m not going to school”

“and why is that? ”  I questioned sounding like a father. Fuck losen up a bit Ben.

She stared at me “because what are people going to think when they see us traversing into school together?”

I hadn’t thought this through  “umm” I didnt know how to answer that so I told her “I really don’t know how to answer that to be honest” 

What were they going to think? That me and her had gotten back together? That somehow I’d magically put everything that happened behind us?

Yes I was a good guy now but not that good a guy.

“I’ll tell you what they’ll think” she broke me out of my thoughts “they’ll think you’re taking advantage of my vulnerability right now or that we’re full on crazy” she paused "I dont know which is worse"

I look at her and my eyes can’t help but rake her, not for the first time over the past few days. I tilt my head, I can’t read her anymore, shes like a station on the radio I can’t tune into anymore yet I know I’ll listen anyway, next to her; everything else is nothing but white background noise.

“Why does it matter?” I asked low enough I didn’t think she’d catch it

“It does though doesnt it?” she sulked "it always matters" she looks up at me through her lashes  “I’m tired of people judging me Ben”

 I understood this, ever since the day I’d met her people were saying things about her. I don’t know why she thought it was because there was something wrong with her.

It was the complete opposite. Girls were jealous that she was flawless. Not a hair in place on her head while they spent hours on theirs. No make up and she rocked the natural look when others couldn’t quite pull it off.

she had guys turning heads at her all the time. Guys couldn’t resist her, one bat of an eyelash and she had them on their knees. She had me on my knees. I still didn’t know why she’d gone out with me.

Guys thought she was perfect and never thought I’d have a chance because she was so out of my league, we weren’t even in the same ball park. Turns out we were closer than we thought. I thought we were alike in many ways.

I thought she was broken, innocent with a whole badass façade to ward people and on the inside she didn’t like who she’d become but it was the only way to protect herself. I thought I knew the look in her eyes, it was one I’d seen staring back at me every morning when I looked in the mirror. A grief stricken guy with nothing to look forward to when his world came crashing down. so he turned to a leather jacket and cigarettes.