Small Town Talk

Chapter 8 - Platonic works for me if it works for you

Chapter 8

His

Her fork fell against her plate with a loud ‘clank’ she mumbled something under her breath that I couldn’t hear. I didn’t want to do this. But I had to try. There was no way I could live under the same roof as her and not give in to my temptations. It already happened twice over the course of 48 hours and I didn’t want to do this to her. To me. So I had to find a distraction. Something to keep my mind off Riva Watts. Because I had to try and get over her, for her sake at least. She already thought she would walk out of this broken anyway and I had to prove her wrong. But a part of me still wanted her to know just how broken and messed up she left me. She took pieces of me I thought I could never get back. At times I thought that maybe if we got back together; slowly I’d get back those pieces so I could be who she wanted me to be.

“What?” I shrugged

“Hmmmm, nothing” she shrugged

“Um, no? Pretty sure you had something to say a few seconds ago” I added

“Just that you haven’t had a date in 2 years”

“How would you know?”

She blushed immensely, and quickly lowered her head so her hair would cover her face hoping I wouldn’t notice “you’re right” she shoved a spoonful of her dinner into her mouth “I wouldn’t know”

I couldn’t help the small smile spreading across my face. This was Riva Watts’s people. This was Rivie.

***

Hers

“What?” he asked.. What’s going on here Ben? I thought to myself. He couldn’t possible have a date

“Hmmmm, nothing” I shrugged

“Um, no? Pretty sure you had something to say a few seconds ago” he said, oh no please don’t tell me he was getting angry. I was not in the mood for one of his mood swings.

“Maybe because you haven’t had a date in 2 years”

“How would you know?”

Blood boiled under my cheeks and I bowed my head just in time, hoping he wouldn’t catch  my blush “You’re right” chew Riva, chew “I wouldn’t know”

This was embarrassing. I wanted to curl up into a hole and die. This was not okay with me. Benjamin Maher had reappeared into my life and there was no stopping the inevitable. He was a spark in the darkness I’d been living in. A rope down the well I’d been drowning in. An oasis I’d been searching for in the middle of the desert and I was hopelessly drowning in Ben. I was hopelessly drowning in Ben, and yet he didn’t want me like that. I didn’t want him to. He was better without me; everyone was. If he’d forgotten how badly I screwed up last time. I’ll remind him every chance I get. I had to try for his sake.

“I’m going to start cleaning up” I’d suddenly lost my appetite

“No, leave it. I’ll come do it once I’ve showered” he offered

“Towels are under the sink, don’t use the red one please” he offered a small bow

“As you wish”

While Ben was upstairs showering, I got super conscious about everything in my bathroom. A pang of hurt rushed through as I wondered if his toothbrush would soon replace my dad’s or Mattie’s’. I passed the time by washing the dishes up and cleaning up the kitchen. Things had a funny way of turning out.

My mind flicked back to a memory that seemed a lifetime away but not quite far enough. Benjee and I sitting at the kitchen table eating marshmallows that were supposed to go in the hot chocolate which we never ended up having. His leather jacket hung up on the back of his chair. Mine on the peg in the hallway. We sat there laughing and giggling over little things that held no importance and I wished I hadn’t wasted so much time. Dad really liked Benjee and already considered him his son. He cursed me for being stupid enough to cheat on him. Just another thing on a long list of excuses for why my father hated me. I remember Benjee taking my hand and leading me down the hall to the couch and then him tickling me till we both fell back together and it was all fun and games until the moment I looked in his eyes. “I love you Rivie” and that’s when things changed.

My whole life I’d felt like no one had ever cared for me. No one really mattered to me. I never thought anyone could love me. Then came Benjee with his golden locks and amazing eyes. Benjee who knew exactly what to say to make me feel better ; before I even knew anything was wrong. I messed up so bad and just like that, the boy who loves me became the boy who loved me. the girl that was once his whole world was wiped from the face of it. I think we can establish that he was no longer a young reckless boy  anymore. He’d ditched the leather jacket. Now he was a cautious and caring. A charismatic man who I wish I’d said I loved you to.

***

His

Everything was tidy when I stepped into the kitchen. The plates were all set to dry on the rack and a steaming cup of something was set on the counter with a note and behind it Riva stood staring into space. I wondered what she was thinking about. She saw me and took the note and scrunched it up and threw it out. She walked over and handed me the cup “For a guy you take forever in the shower!” she snapped

“What’s this?” I asked as she placed the cup in my hands

“Just returning this morning’s gesture” smiling politely “good night”

“Goodnight” this was working out somehow

She walked up to the stairs then looked back at the couch “You don’t have to sleep on the couch Ben” the way she called me by my nickname, it wasn’t Benjee but it was something.

“Riv, I’m not sleeping in your room” she frowned and then gave me a ‘duh’ look

“We have 3 extra bedrooms now, you can take the guest room”

I nodded “thanks”

“And Ben?” she called “We’re platonic, I get it” and then continued her way up the stairs quietly.

Platonic. I didn’t like that. Even though it was what I asked for.

I went to the kitchen and took the note she threw away out of the bin

 

Dear Ben,

Platonic works for me if it works for you

P.S school tomorrow!