brooklyn nine nine group chat

the one where no one is cool but they think they are.

Captain Thot started a new chat because the last one was a hot mess

Captain Thot: Squad, I have been doing some research on good conversation starters in an attempt to be more social. 

Captain Thot: So I ask you, if you could describe the Internet in one word, what word would be?

Gina Spaghetti: off the heezy fo sheezy.

Captain Thot: Okay. Anyone else? Please?

Bisexualitea: the internet do be a hot mess doe.

Captain Thot: Detective Diaz, what in the ever-loving name of lesbian jesus does that mean?

Charles Boyle (who has, by some miracle, escaped a username attack atm.) : CAPTIAN HOLT SJKFJJSJKDJKSDHJKFSLDJKSJFJKSDHVFJHHJKSXHFJKSDFJSKDHF NO WAY USHDKSNFJKSNFJKWDNFJKNEJKRNKJRENEKNGK SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS

Bisexualitea: Charles pls. chill out. for one. goddamn. moment.

Gina Spaghetti: fr fr chuckle. chill out homie. 

Gina Spaghetti: also a quick q for when Jake gets in here, why does my username even have the  word 'het' in it. terribly offensive to lesbian jesus ,,,,, rlly Jake why don't u think 

Charles Boyle: I CANT CHILL OUT YALL DID U NOT READ HOLT GO AWF 

Charles Boyle: also y'all seem to forget that my 2 precinct otps LITERALLY got together,,,,, like am I supposed to just.... MOVE ON?????!?!!?!!?! no. I love u guys n ur relationships more than I love my son.

Charles Boyle: wait no.

Charles Boyle: everyone disregard me pls. 

Charles Boyle: hello? is anyone else here? oh my god. is this the start of the end? am I the last person alive? god the end of the world is more terrifying than I ever could have imagined.

Charles Boyle: skskksskjksjdksjdkdjskdjsk im all alone :(((( and my fav couples r dead.

Bisexualitea: Charles. Look the fuck up. We're literally all staring at you while you sob over your keyboard.

Bisexualitea: actually holt, I'll change my previous answer as to what the internet is like. just look at Charles, that is a perfect representation of social media.

Gina Spaghetti: a grown man crying over his keyboard about other peoples relationships. good one rosa.

Bisexualitea: thanks babe.

Charles Boyle: SKSKLSDJFKSJFK SEE WHAT I MEANSJDIUFHK

Captain Thot: Diaz, I see it. A very accurate depiction of social media, well done. -Raymond Holt

Captain Thot left the chat because he got the answer to his question, and he has no time for other shenanigans (that are sure to happen shortly). 

Jake Peralta (the king himself): Hello Losers.

Jake Peralta: (also gina to answer ur q from earlier,,,,)

Jake Peralta changed Gina Spaghetti 's username to Gina Spagayti. 

Jake Peralta: I have plans for the rest of you, just hold on to your wigs. cuz they are about to be S N A T C H E D ! ! ! 

Charles Boyle: omg im so excited 0w0  I can't wait for the name master to master some names

Jake Peralta: yeah ok. go off qween or whatever u want me to say to that Charles.

Jake Peralta changed Jake Peralta 's username to THEKING.

THEKING changed Charles Boyle 's username *back* to charcharbinks.

Bisexualitea: yeah no jake. change ur username to smth true, or at least smth funny. 

THEKING: no. 

charcharbinks: well I mean I like this name so I guess my wig is snatched ??? sksks

yogurtman69: damn Terry thought his computer was having a dance party 

yogurtman69: see the joke is,,, Terry was getting so many notifications at once,,,, that it could have been mistaken for music,,,, because of how much my computer notifications were sounding,,,,,

Gina Spagayti: ok 1, thanks Jake I preesh tf outta u. and 2, Terry, thanks for explaining ur unfunny joke to us. I mean ok,,, maybe I exhaled harshly outta my nose, but like. haha :/

THEKING: ur welcome gina, idk if u heard me loling from my desk but I thought it suited u

THEKING: also I miss my wife.

THEKING: Terry can I pls take a work computer home so she can chime in on these chats :))

yogurtman69: sorry Jake but Terry thinks thats a hard no. and by thinks, Terry means knows.

yogurtman69: also how is ur lil dude doing though Jake? will he be coming in to help daddy with some cases soon?

Gina Spagayti: .....

yogurtman69: gina don't 

Gina Spagayti: BAHAHAHAHAH DID TRUTRJNDFVJHDFBGHJDF DID- TERRY JUST,,, REFER 2 JAKE AS DADDYY FKJDFHKJDHFKJHASJKFHJK

Gina Spagayti left the chat because she was laughing too hard and also did NOT want to get in trouble from Terry and Daddy. (dhjsfhjsdhfjkhsjkfhsjkd)

Bisexualitea left the chat to start a new chat with Gina Spagayti so that they could laugh about this together ;)

Captain Thot entered the chat to tell some hoez off.

Captain Thot: Get back to work. Y'all hoez laughing too much. Thank you.

                                        -Raymond Holt, designated precinct thot.

Captain Thot left the chat because he successfully told some hoez off. Yas Queen.

THEKING: I- wh- di- n-i- d- no- DID HE JUST 

THEKING: HOLT JFKSJDKSHF H E TITLED HIMSELEFNDJKNFKJDJ DESIGNATED PRECINGF THOT JFKDJKHDFJHGJKDFHGJKFDJGKJF

THEKING left the chat because he lit rally could not breathe due to Captain Thot's (non-) shenanigans.

yogurtman69 ended the chat altogether because shiz was getting too funny up in this biz.