A melting candle.

chapter five - okay not Alright.

Speaking up about things that are difficult to talk about is not easy. Peter has been asking alot of questions about my nightmares and if at all , I have a past that haunts me.
Well yes I do, but I can not tell it to his face. More than ever I wish Theodore was here. Does he still think of me like I think about him? . How can he let me down like that. Couldn't he have at least trusted me, why couldn't he first hear the story from my lips. The truth in my case is unbelievable. The pretty liars always win.
Two months and I still feel his finger tips tracing my skin. The walks we took from the vegetable stand to my place are remarkable. I remember one night when we took the wrong path to my place. We ended up at an old man's house, terrified .he looked at us weirdly , we both breathed heavily and didn't find our words. Don't you know how to greet when you find indigenous people having their dinner? And he spat on the floor. All we could say was sorry Mr we took the wrong path. We both laughed at each other for being so dumb until we got home.

Peter walks in , with a man dressed in White clothing. I have never seen skin as white as his . Dark hair, black spectacles and a perfect musculine body and the most handsome face.
They both sit on the black sofa and Peter signals me to join them. Perhaps he is the brother , I convince myself  .
This is.... before Peter Even finishes his sentence im jumping from one sofa to another. Yelling , THE RAPIST! THE RAPIST! As many times as I can .

Peter grabs me and makes me sit down. What you talking about he questions. Who is the THE RAPIST here. Him of course , I reply pointing at the man in White,it's written on his coat  Josh The Rapist.   You mean the THERAPIST he corrects me. You shouldn't be scared of him, he is here to help you. What's a THERAPIST ? I ask in slurred words. It's a mental health professional who helps  clients improve their lives. What do you mean by mental health whatever?, are you referring to me as crazy. I knew it , Elizabeth was right. You are just an evil man , you want to lock me up in a mental institution don't you?
Peter drops tears.
Don't even give me those crocodile tears as I slum the door on them. I don't know the streets here but it's okay, I will just keep walking.
Peter is following me behind , I don't want to talk to him . I should have listened to mother , he is just a bad wolf. My legs must take me away from him.
Some how he manages to catch up with me. Immaculate listen , patting me on my shoulder. You got it All wrong. Im just trying to help you. I know Elizabeth brainwashed you, she just never wanted to look bad . Mrs mulenga told me all about it, that I abandoned her and you just so I could breathe with my wife and children. That's all wrong , im not even married. I loved Elizabeth as much as she loved me. She left me when money was low , moreover the thought of her kissing my best mate took the air out of my lungs. I couldn't forgive her. She never even informed me that she was pregnant for us.untill I saw your photo , you look exactly like my mom, light skin, brown eyes and a models body . Have searched for you and her for years.
Away from Elizabeth he continues in tears. Let's talk about you. I know you are not okay , you scream and shout like a woman giving life. I don't believe they are just ordinary nightmares. You are hiding something and I want to know what it is. So my screams conclude that im nuts ? I reply in tears. Yes im crazy  , Elizabeth was my pot of gold. I don't understand why she had to kick the bucket. I just can't forgive myself for not having the means to take her to a hospital it kills me.....
Stop it Immaculate ! .  . Peter shouts at me . We both know that is not biggest event tormenting your mind. You scream and yell at women , who lord knows what they did to you.

Im not a monster or a bad wolf , start seeing that . You can confide in me . I know you lose track of lines between real and  not. You get breaks from reality and if I don't help you , you are likely to break down. Having a metal illness doesn't mean you " can't handle life" , Always be honest with yourself .let your self feel those emotions but never get lost in them . Most importantly love who you are.

Do you think Immaculate should trust Peter?