"And then a bike was made! Oh wait, a fucking training wheel managed to weasel in because their relationship was codependent on that training wheel because both of them were mentally ill and can't stand on their own!"
Yurie, who was a mess, began recounting a story to her good drinking pal, Uta.
It seemed the two single fucks were rejected. Hard. And now they were at Yurie's private jet, with alcoholic beverages on their way to Disneyland.
Why?
Because they were college drop outs.
"And then there was this guy in my freshman year! He fucking picked up my water bottle, and ever so faintly, I felt his fingers brush mine and I knew he was the one! But holy fuck, he's straight AND has a girlfriend!"
Uta deliriously screeched, sobbing as he chugged on his vodka.
"Don't get me started with this girl from the class parallel to mine. She was hot as fuck, and she was really nice. She kind of showed signs she was interested in me, and I was about to ask her to date me but it turns out she was gettin' on my good graces just so she could be closer to Hayden! God fucking Hayden, getting all the girls!"
Cyrus harrumphed, loudly crying as he began singing the revised and brokenhearted version of one of Ryo's song.
And you may be asking about these stupid assholes, why can't they just date each other or something?
Well, they can't see the other as a potential lover and because they were wasted like this, any good impression they have of each other is already bleached off. Amazing.
And it ruins their dynamics.
"Mom, pick me up, I'm scared." Lyra cried, being forced to be in the same room as the dejects.
"Is this our fault-" Ryo worriedly asked, seeing their favorite wingman screaming Old Town Roads.
"Yes." Blindy shrugged.
"WOO LET'S GET DRUNK-" Pete cheered the dejects on, spraying whipped cream on him and his girlfriend.
"CRIPPLES THAT ARE DATING SOMEONE DON'T HAVE RIGHTS-" Uta threatened Pete.
"SOMEONE WHO PUTS WHIPPED CREAM IN MY HAIR DIES-" Lyra screamed, pushing Pete to the wall where he fell with a loud oof.
"Are we going to Disneyland with these... uh... incompetent form of lives." Felix wrinkled his nose, about to cough from the overwhelming stench of mentos and beer.
"Yes, and my daughter is terrified." Daniel groaned. Daughter, referring to Jiyuu.
"I am not your daugHTER-" Jiyuu rioted, throwing pies at Daniel.
"Oh my god, my pies. JIYUU STOP, MY HARD WORK-" Pat yelled, trying to waver Jiyuu's aim.
"Stay tuned to our Disneyland vlog tomorrow, my dears. This is Ella, signing off!" Ella smiled, waving her viewers goodbye then turning off her camera.
She whipped her angered face towards them. Mostly Uta because he is the most disappointing of her children.
"ALL OF YOU, OFF TO BED-" She commanded, pointing to the hallway with their rooms.
"No!" Uta whined.
"Then no Minnie Mouse merch for you." Ella grinned at the petrified Uta. "NEVERMIND-"
"Holy fuck." Sakura face palmed, her disappointed face seen from the monitor.
(she's in London for a shoot, so she's not with them)
Chaos? Yes.
The characters used and their owners:
Yurie, Felix: right here
Uta, Jiyuu, Ryo: Kyo NoeltheMortalFate
Cyrus, Lyra: Rey_Shikawa
Blindy, Ella, Daniel: Kirin chrysteaneko
Pat, Pete, Sakura: Ichi UltimateStrawberry
Im not sorry ksksks
YOU ARE READING
The Big Book of OC Tales
Fanfictiontales about my friends' and my ocs, except i didn't ask for their permission to use them but they love me a whole bunch so they won't care... o w o u w u o v o u v u waiT I KNOW THE BOOK IS ABOUT OCS BUT THE COVER IS MUICHIRO, PLEASE DON'T ATTACK M...
