__JUNE__

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June ; 2015

The bookstore isn't the same anymore… 

The corner between the bookshelves feels a lot more spacious without him, but that feeling isn't as comforting as it would have been before he came into her life. 

JungMi used to think she wants to be alone; she thought that isolating herself in the corner was how she wanted to spend her time. But now that she knows what it's like to invite someone into her world between the bookshelves, she can't tell if he took something with him or if he left something behind, but the corner of the bookstore will never be the same.

It's June 16th today; it's been more than a month since the last time she's seen him. 

When NamJoon had to promote with BTS before, a similar situation happened where he couldn't meet with her for an extended period of time. But it's different this time around. Their new song has garnered so much attention that they've been promoting non-stop.

She's heard his voice over the phone and has read his words and learned about his days through texts, but he is never physically beside her anymore. 

She's become used to waiting for him; she's always on edge and anxious to see if today will be different from yesterday. She is always hoping that today might be the day he comes to her. She is in a constant state of expecting his arrival. Her eyes always dart towards the window when she hears someone approaching, but they always walk right past. 

None of them are NamJoon.

She sometimes mistakes her shadow as NamJoon coming to sit beside her. But it's never really him; it's always just JungMi and her shadow. 

It hasn't been too long since the last time she's seen him, but her worst fear is that time will continue to pass this way. How many weeks can she stand not seeing him? How many months can she take being alone? How many years can she tolerate waiting for him?

JungMi shakes her head at her own thoughts.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, JungMi." she tells herself. "You're overreacting again."

NamJoon is just busy promoting his new album. He won't be busy for too long. JungMi is happy that he's finally getting the recognition and success he deserves; he's finally becoming who he was always meant to be. But this means that in order to move forward, he has to leave something behind. 

JungMi is afraid that she is that something.

It already feels as though he was never here. There's no warmth and no comfort anymore.

Yet, the remnants of his presence still remain. 

JungMi pulls out the copy of Pride and Prejudice from her bag. The colorful throng of post-it notes that NamJoon wrote are still in their place; she kept all of his annotations. JungMi likes to read them from time to time because it gives her insight into the way he thinks; it reminds her that there’s a person out there who thinks like her and he’s going to come back soon. 

She flips through the book absentmindedly, just admiring how meticulous he was in his annotations; the sheer number of notes he left behind in the pages of the book speak for themselves. NamJoon put time and effort and attention to detail. JungMi can see his understanding of the text. 

In her search for an annotation to read, she stops flipping through the pages near the end of the book where NamJoon left one of his last annotations before finishing the book. She carefully unfolds the note, careful not to lose its place. In his neat and visually stunning handwriting, JungMi reads his interpretation of the quote he marked with the post-it note:

IQ148 // namjoon ✔️Where stories live. Discover now