Till the day i die (Andy bvb fanfic ) ~completed

Youth and Whisky

I had been 3 months since i found out i had lung cancer. I hated it. Chemo's a bitch and the tubes coming out my nose as annoying and get cuaght on everything and make life harded. When im walking down the street i get weird stares from people. Most of the time i just tell the to fuck of. Mum hasn't been coping very well, she's become a bit depressed over the thought of one day not being a mum anymore. The house is always a tip, we have takeouts almost everynight for dinner unless my grandma or aunt make us some dinner and bring it round, and she nevers leaves the sofa. In all day in her dressing gown and slipers, watching the shit daytime tv.

Every weekend is a blur to me know, seeing as I'm gonng die anyway I thought i might as while live while i can, so me and my two best friends have been out drinking and dancing every weekend. It started when i frist told a them about my cancer they where devestated, they where drinking away the sadness. Fortuatnly Matt and Jenna aren't emotional drunks so we'd party all night, though i took it easy or else iI would proberly collapse on the floor, to forget the fact their best friend would one day no longerr be there. And last night was no different. 

My head was banging as i pushed my self up in bed. I looked over to my alarm clock, 9:00am. 

"urghh, why so early" i moaned and and slide back under neath my covers. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, sighed and got up, being careful not to step on Matt or Jenna who where still fast asleep on the floor next to my bed. I stoof over them and smiled for a bit. 

I really do have the bestest friends in the world  i thought to myslef as i watched them. Jenna looked rough. Her shoulder lenght blonde hair was messing and stuck across her face, while her make up, black eyeliner and red lips was smudged and made her look like the joker. Matt on the other hand didn't look much different from how he left last night. Brown messy hair, like always and of course no make up just one faint red lip stain on his cheek. 

I went over to my mirrior to see what state i was in. My mirrior was one of my favourite things in my room. I had many many photos of all the concerts i had been to and bands i had met. I stroked the face of my favourite band member who i met when i was 14. Kellin Quinn from Sleeping With Sirens, and he will never know that, that awkward 14 year old girl he once met will 4 years later be dead. This fact made me kinda sad even though he dosen't even know me.

i finally looked at my self in the mirrior. "Eww" i groaned " I look like the fricking grudge". My middle parted long black hair was flat and greasy even side of my face. My black eye makeup was sudge and black lipstick, a faint grey fading off half way down my chin...

I sighed and decided to wake up Jenna and Matt. I had an idea..  

"oi sleeping beautys " ..nothing. "urgh i walked over to my CD player and turned the volume up full. "your gonna love this i say to myself and blast out 'Fuck' by Bring Me The Horizon.

Immediately they both sit up groaning and moaning

"fucking hell Raven turn that racket of or ill kill u" shouted matt over the screaming

"TURN IT THE FUCK OF" shouted Jenna. I turned it of and stared at her.

"alright alright. keep you hair on " they both hate metal music.

"anyway" i continued " i only woke you up because i have something exciting "

they both looked hopefull, maybe thinking i was better. sadly not.

"well you that bucket list i have? i only have 4 things left."  the hope faded from their eyes

"i thought maybe you where better ..." jenna whispered sadly and matt grunted in agreement. I squeezed my self in between them

"No sadly not, sorry guys." we were all silent for a while when i took a deep breath in and walked to wards but notice board on my wall, it was filled with alsorts. ,,Concert tickets, timetables, receipts, everything. and right in the middle was my bucket list. "Okay then what are the last 4 things." Matt asked

"right first is get drunk hmm okay ive done that i just forgot to tick it of" we all gave a half enthusiastic laugh.  "next is meet pierce the veil then get a boyfriend (well thats never gonna happen) and last go warped tour!" i have never had a boyfriend and i kinda wanna get one before i die but its not the only thing i want. I would much rather go Warped Tour in America then get a boyfriend.

"Raven i hate to say it but i doubt any of those things are possible" said Jenna

"rude"

"sorry maybe the boyfriend one haha but not warped tour. None of us have any money and we dont even like any of the bands you like so theres no point, and how are you ever going to meet pierce the veil?" i stared at her and i could feel my eyes filling up. was i really going to die not having gone to the tour ive dreamt about since i was 13 and see the band i have loved since then to.

"way to ruin a dying girls dreams Jenna" i said through gritted teeth and stormed out my house. leaving Jenna and Matt in my room and mum asleep on the sofa