Prince Caspian -Jung Yoonoh NCT

22. I Would Never Cheat

The summer term drags out its tedious course. To me, now nineteen, school life seems irksome, and futile, offering no relief for the ache of my broken heart. 

During the first weeks, consumed by that restlessness in me, I had contrived to go into the town upon every pretext that I could think of - my hair needed a trim, my eyes required testing, I needed new toiletries - any excuse I could seize upon, to satisfy the need in me, my one and only obsession - to catch a glimpse of the man who had entered my life so carelessly  and wrecked havoc with my heart.

But I never saw him; I would have been contented with a peek, a quick glance, but he had gone out of my life, as swiftly as he had entered it.

And then came the day when Chloe received news from home that he had left the Chateau without finishing his course. Urgent private business, he had told Mrs. Lee, and so that was it. I would never see him again, and I resolved to forget him, and think ahead to my future with my Cousin Mark.

But it is hard, so very hard...

I wonder when I will ever be able to erase him completely from my mind.

The nights are the worst. 

A nightingale trills its sweet, pure notes, and I freeze; an owl hoots in the shadow of trees, and my breath catches in my throat.

He comes to me most nights, my ghostly lover, and whispers words of love in my ear; sometimes, he holds me in his strong arms, and rocks me like a child, but drifts away with the first light of dawn. I open my eyes, my lips still burning with the ashy memory of his kiss, his name still strangled in my throat, and my pillow is wet with my tears.

I finally tell Chloe about my engagement, and she is practical about it.

"It is the best arrangement; your grandfather was right. Sending you to the Academy makes good sense. You were quite the little savage when you came here," she giggles, "but look at you now. Your fiance will be charmed when he meets you."

"But he's quite a great deal older than me," I say, flushing.

"Yiseul, this is the best kind of husband - an elderly, doting husband, who will worship you. Better to be an old man's darling than a young man's fool." She bursts into a fit of giggles. "Unlike that Caspian..." She closes her eyes, and sighs. "So beautiful, but quite, quite unsuitable. That kind of man would make a poor husband, but an excellent lover."

She grins at me.

"I have the perfect solution. Make him your lover, and you will have everything. After all, you can't expect to be satisfied by your elderly Cousin Mark. But Caspian," she squeals, "you can be sure THAT one will satisfy you. You'll have it all - money, position and love." 

"I doubt I'd ever see him again, " I say drily, "and even if I do, I'd never make him my - my lover..." I was flushing again. "I would never cheat on my husband."

"Don't be so sure," she says, looking at me shrewdly. "He's a charmer...I know I won't be able to resist him if he ever comes my way, married or not..."

Mr. Prescott comes to see me with important news a few weeks later.

We sit in the visitor's hall, and he smiles at me.

"I'm instructed by Mr. Mark Jung to inform you that he is prepared to honour your grandfather's wishes and marry you, if you are agreeable."

I give a sigh of relief. 

"I thought it was all settled," I say. "It was on that understanding that I agreed to go to school." 

"That was nearly a year ago," he points out. "You might have changed your mind."

"It never occurred to me to do so. I thought I was bound." I hear my voice, stiff and cold.

"That's the point, my dear," he says earnestly. "Your Cousin Mark is very anxious that you should not feel bound. He is quite ready to make a cash settlement if you would prefer to waive any claim to the estate, which I may tell you is generous, because most of the land is entailed upon the next male heir. It is only the Manor itself which is in question, and your claim to that depends upon this marriage."

"It's the house I want," I say shortly. "It's my home."

How dare he? 

I feel a jolt of pain in my heart. Am I such a burden to him? For it is becoming more and more obvious to me that Cousin Mark abhors my grandfather's stipulation, and that he is trying to weasel his way out of the arrangement.

Mr. Prescott is looking at me. 

"Would your house still seem so with a new master?" His eyes are kind.

My lips quiver; I press them together and lift my head proudly. 

"But I shall be the mistress. I don't see any point in going into all this again; we all know what Grandfather wished."

"Mr. Mark Jung only wants to emphasise, and so do I, that you need not feel tied by your grandfather's wishes. They were a trifle - er - ill-considered, and I'm sure he would not have wanted you to fulfil them if they stood in the way of your happiness." 

I cross my hands primly in my lap, and look at him steadily. 

"Do you think that it's impossible for me to find happiness as Cousin Mark's wife?"

Under my direct gaze, his eyes fall, and he goes a bit pink with embarrassment. 

 "You've not yet met him," he says, looking uncomfortable. "He is considerably older than you are. I thought - I wondered - if you - "

"Had met someone else? No, I haven't. And I don't want to - meet anyone else." 

A sudden image of Caspian fills my head, and my heart squeezes in pain. 

I will not think of him. I must not think of him. 

But, my treacherous heart whispers to me. 

If he had loved you, would you have left Cousin Mark for him? 

And I know the answer. 

Yes. 

In a heartbeat.

"You're taking an enormous risk," Mr. Prescott says with asperity. 

"I am prepared," I say quietly. "From all this I gather my cousin isn't very keen on marrying me."

 "My dear, what can you expect? As I said, he hasn't met you."

My lip curls scornfully. 

"Whose fault is that? He could have done so any time during this past year if he'd been sufficiently interested. He could have come here now instead of sending you; I consider he's been downright rude."

Mr. Prescott makes a fluttering motion with his hands. 

"He's very busy - renovations to the property, he doesn't want to unsettle you..."

"Rubbish!" I say angrily, my temper beginning to rise. 

The mention of renovations has not helped to soothe it. 

"Let's get this straight. He wants Ravenscrag but not me, but I also want Ravenscrag, and I'm not going to let him turn me out of my own home. If he wants to live there he'll have to put up with me." 

Mr. Prescott sighs, and says wearily, "Very well. I'll accept that, and now to practical details. Mr. Mark Jung will be coming to Ravenscrag at the end of the month  to coincide with the end of your summer term. He will be in Ravenscrag before you arrive."

He takes off his glasses, and starts to polish them, avoiding my eyes.

"There is one more thing - "