Stargate Force

Chapter 11: A Miraluka Named, Hothok

Sam was finding out about her history... or is it her future? She said to Hothok, "I don't think I will ever get used to this time craziness. I mean, I can't believe all this is my future."

"It's your future, just the same, girlfriend."

In disbelief, she simply shook her head. "That can't be right," she muttered, rejecting the idea. "Mom always said this city existed long after the Jedi Knights vanished. I was born in 1968, for crying out loud! How can this be my home?"

"You tell me. You're fused with your true self. You're now whole."

She sighed, "How long have I been... not whole?"

"Does it matter?"

She half-smiled, "I guess not."

"There's something off. You've been tight as a drum since I stepped out of that cave. What's going on? That's not the usual you."

She said, "I just want to know who I was or will be."

Hothok laughed, "I would too. Who doesn't want to know their future?"

"This is much different, and you know it."

"Of course I do," she deadpanned, dripping with sarcasm.

"How would you react if you knew that your future has already existed?"

"What does that have to do with it?"

"What choices do I make now?"

"Honestly, it's up to you entirely. Why believe your life is predetermined? Did some force tell you to wake up today, or did you make that choice yourself?"

"I don't think it works that way."

"So, how's this supposed to function? Are you approaching this like a scientific experiment?" Sam remained silent. Her companion pressed on, "if you want to live on your own terms, then take charge and make it happen."

"My true self, I guess, told me I experienced two existences, I really don't know who I am."

"Then who the hell are you? I see you standing there, alive. Be someone."

She smiled, "I am Sam Carter O'Neill, and I am a free person."

"Then hold onto that feeling, Sam. Believe in yourself, even if it feels scary." Hothok stepped closer, a gentle smile on her face. "it sounds like you're finally breaking free from all that conditioning, and it's disorienting. That's okay. Stop trying to be perfect, there's no need for that. Just relax and explore who you are becoming."

She half-smiled, "I have forgotten how."

"No, you haven't. Once you do things for fun, you will see what I mean."

"Right now I can't."

She gave her that look of repulsion. "Why the hell not?"

Sam was quiet at first, but she answered, "I have this friend that needs my help."

It baffled her. After looking in her eyes, she realized it was her she was referring to. "I will be a stinking Hutt. You set me up."

She gave an enormous smile, "From the moment I felt you enter this cave, something was bothering you, enormously."

"Remember, I told you some of what I have been through when I was working for Palpatine?"

Sam nodded.

She sat down in the nearest chair before continuing. "I haven't told you half of what I have been through, and I think I should, now."

"You fear for me because I am whole?"