Life sayings that mean something

Part 10-Grief

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone. How would your world react? Whatever you imagined is wrong. There is nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean. It's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and fate and love. When something tragic happens like losing someone forever, I still wonder what's the point in life? What's the point in living life when your heart is broken? When you are lost to the world. 

The hardest part about saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Every day we face the same truth that life is fleeting. That our time here is short and we should honor the fallen. We must live our own lives well and allow our common loss to bring us together. 

Someone once said that death isn't the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live. I could tell you who said it but who cares!! It all seems so fake. This idea that good things happen to good people and there's magic in the world and the meek and righteous will inherit it. Some too many good people suffer from something like that to be true. There are too many prayers unanswered. Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is and we tell ourselves that it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. But it's not okay and once you know that, there's no going back. There's no magic in the world. There's nothing beautiful about death. I was thinking about the finality of it all. How somebody can leave your world in a blink of an eye and be gone forever. It's too enormous to even think about. It's too hard. Then you're just supposed to go on right like just deal with it, I mean you're just supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then will time to go back to telling jokes and singing about the old days. I don't have any jokes to tell. I hope to never hear a joke as long as I live and the old days are just that! Old days that are gone. 

I want to pass on some advice that I hope will help. To accept the changes as they come, accept the sadness, happiness, all of it. Put yourself out there. Be brave and undreeblenerval and ask for help. I can't tell you that everything is going to be okay because sometimes things just aren't. Occasionally, the world will shift beneath your feet and when that happens, find the people who support you. The people you love that love you back. They'll help get you through. 

I got into writing stuff when my nan got sick. It was the only way I knew that would drown out the guilt that I couldn't save her, to silence the voices in my head. The voices in my head. The ones telling me that I'm letting her drown. All those expectations. This year all I've been doing so far is trying to keep my head above the water. I know that I have no right to self-pity but too much has happened. The voices are dragging me under...