only acting → ON HOLD

63🍻🍻

his name flashed on her screen, accompanied with his contact photo-a nice little one they took before he left for the tour.

she lets it ring a few more times before picking it up.

hello?
her voice is shaky.

hey.
he sounds exhausted.

what's wrong? you sound tired.

nothing. i'm good.
i just need to talk to you about something.

her breath hitches in her throat. she knows this line; it never leads to anything good. and god, if she was scared earlier, she was even more scared now.

okay.
she inhales sharply and closes her eyes.

look, i don't wanna sound like... well, that kinda guy, but i just can't help but wonder.

wonder what?

he takes a deep breath.
gabby are you cheating on me?

her world stills.

it takes her a while to digest his question. actually, she wasn't digesting it at all. it just hung there; in front of her, suspended like a crib mobile.

he clears his throat.
hey, gabby?
are you still there?

red.

for some reason, her vision is painted red. it's all she can see.

excuse me?
what the fuck did you just ask me?

she spits out her reply like the words were made out of poison.

the other end is quiet for a while.

listen, i know this is like, an ass question, but i just... i just can't shake the feeling that you are!

she realises it's anger that causes her vision to go red; and with every word matt said, the darker the colour became.

matthew fucking champion, you know how i feel about cheating and you're asking me if i'm cheating? what about that!
her laugh is bitter.
who would i even cheat on you with? fucking misha?

he raises his voice.
i don't know!
maybe that stupid jerm dude you hang out with all the time.
didn't you guys go on a date the other day?

yellow.

realisation hits her cold and hard, like a crisp ice bath on a sweltering summer day. she's so mad, it's almost funny.

she laughs and raises her voice.
i cannot fucking believe you right now!
jerm took me out the other day because i was sad.
i was sad over you not calling or making any time for me.
actually, i was trying not to be sad, matt.

he's yelling.
i was busy!
actually, i am busy. i'm on fucking tour, for crying out loud.

an odd feeling bubbles in her chest. she ignores it; actually, she doesn't realise it-she's too preoccupied to keep her emotions in check.

another bitter laugh escapes her mouth.
busy?
i get that, matt. i really fucking do.
we all get busy sometimes.
but not even a text?
she takes a deep breath.
there were days i couldn't buy that bullshit anymore, matt.
you know why?
because for some godforsaken reason, even though the two of you are probably equally as busy and are on the same ducking tour, joba always found the time to call or text misha.
and what did i get?
nothing. no calls or texts for weeks at a time.
any other girl would feel the same way, matt.

he is silent.

blue.

she realises that the odd feeling in her chest was sadness. her cheeks are wet with tears and her lips quivered as she tried to hold herself together.

i don't know where you're getting your information, matt, but it's fucking wrong.
i only hang out w jerm because i literally feel miserable all the fucking time.
i'm trying to be understanding, matt. i really am, but i'm just so fed up.
i fucking love you, but this hurts.
i literally cannot believe you right now.

once again, he says nothing.

the seconds that roll by soon become minutes. five, ten, fifteen... she thinks he won't say anything anymore and debates on ending the call.

he clears his throat and sighs.
i think we need to take a break.

the call ends and in the next door over, her neighbour-lilian's glass vase falls off the coffee table and shatters into pieces.

for a very brief moment, she thought it was her heart that she was hearing.