only acting → ON HOLD

78💦💦

jerm doesn't remember what happens next. actually, it was more like he chose not to remember.

———

jerm!

the panic in his chest subsides. he looks to the left and sees his too drunk friend stumbling towards him, a lopsided smile on her flushed face.

he pulls her towards him, steadying themselves as not to topple over. she flashes him a sheepish smile.

hi.

hello.

his smile is pained. he wonders what on earth made her want to get this wasted. actually, screw that—he knew exactly why gabby was getting this drunk.

he must've cursed matt champion in his mind over a thousand times. even before he started liking her more as a friend. for some reason, the idea of a boyfriend who you had to hold back for was just not something he liked.

how many times did he see her pick up her phone and debate whether she should call him or not before eventually putting it down?

how many times did she call him, crying because it just felt like it was too much?

how many times did his chest tighten whenever she said she hadn't talked to him in weeks, but that it was "okay" because he was busy doing what he loved?

one too many times that's for sure.

are you okay?

he worries about her. if he'd left her alone to her devices during such a time, what would become of her? he was afraid of the answer.

jerm!
hi!

hello.

there's a tinge of sadness in her eyes. it hurts him knowing that there wasn't much he could do about it.

jerm was just jerm. he wasn't matt, or misha, or moi, or joba. he was just jerm. and jerm couldn't do much things.

not for himself or his friends.

hey jerm

he hasn't let her go, but none of them notice. he's too tired and she's too drunk.

jerm, look at me.

for a brief moment, his world stills.

———

jerm debates messaging her. she was probably asleep. if not, she was probably nursing a bad hangover. he ends up not messaging her.

instead, he messages misha. it should be fine, right? this should be fine.

gabby was probably just drunk, right? it didn't mean anything.