Conflicted Eyes, Confusing Feelings | Complete

f o r t y - n i n e

* * *

Don't date someone you can't see yourself marrying

* * *

Four whole days had passed, with those days consisting of Sage in and out of therapy sessions with Pastor Goodward, courtesy of Cecilia's avid pleas to him, trying to convince him that a demon had possessed her son

Apparently, according to the Catholic teachings, having a homosexual orientation itself is not a sin and that LGBT people, like all people, are to be treated with respect, but Cecilia absolutely refused to believe that. She stood firm as a rock on her moot that her son was possessed by demonic forces, and with her avid pleas and 'proof' of this, she even got through to the Pastor.

To Sage, the most embarrassing part of the whole thing was when Cecilia told the Pastor exactly what he'd been doing with Xander that evening. Pastor Goodward had wordlessly turned to him and shook his head in blatant disappointment.

Or dismay.

At first, Sage thought that his mother's main concern was her son being gay overall, but that didn't seem like the case. Her main concern was that it would get out to the church and their family would be ridiculed and judged. Of course that would be the case, as Cecilia had worked so hard over the years for them to look like the perfect single-parent family, and it had pulled off, earning herself insurmountable respect between her church sister. Now that she discovered the new hindrance to this perfect reputation, it was no shock that Cecilia wanted to get rid of it, and she would by any means necessary.

The first step was speaking to the Pastor in confidentiality. The day preceding that, Sage was forced to attend a private ceremony of some sort, where he was rebaptized, and after avid sessions of prayer and reverence, Sage was 'cleansed' of the abominable sin.

Needless to say, after a week of church and seeing Felt, Sage couldn't take any more. He was physically and mentally exhausted, but Cecilia didn't take the hint. The next drastic step for her was buying him a chain with the cross, to repel him from his 'demonic' urges.

For all that, Sage didn't know what was worse; being slapped by his mother or having to undergo all that. Both shattered Sage inside out, but his tears meant nothing to Cecilia, only as a mean for her to chastise him even further and blame the 'evil spirit dwelling within him'.

Fighting back the surge of horrid memories, Sage twirled the cross between his fingers, gazing down at it with tears in his eyes.

After all that'd been done, why didn't he feel different? Why couldn't he still stop thinking about Xander and their relationship? Why did he still miss Xander?

Sage hadn't seen nor heard from him since the incident.

A tiny hand squeezed Sage's, breaking him from his string of endless thoughts. Glancing down, his eyes fell on Felt next to him, who wielded a shy smile, her face lighting up once adorned with Sage's attention.

"Are you thinking about us?" she asked him. Sage fought back the rise of the nauseous feeling he came to be familiar with as he forced a smile but didn't respond. On impulse, he tried to get out of Felt's hold, but every time he tried moving his hand, Felt would step even closer to him and readjust their locked fingers. 

Thankfully, Felt believed that. She turned her attention back to the listing of movies for the day before whirling back to face Sage, broadly grinning. "This is so exciting, don't you think? I've never really been on a date before."