What Happens After You?

The Scared One .

I'm going to tell you a story about a girl. Well, 12 of them actually. I've talked about the 12 different personalities before. The ones that all want different things. The one that's okay with people and would surround herself with all the best ones if she could. The one that loves her friends more than herself and would do anything for them at any time. But then there's the one that dislikes people so much that she would spend the rest of her life alone in a small room, all she needs is her music. She still loves her friends, but she's happiest all by herself and would prefer that over everything. Is she the creative one? Is she the one that writes you these inner monologues? Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference between all of them. She's the creative one. She's the one that's safe in her own mind, the one that entertains herself. They're different pieces because none of them get along really, and that's how one tells them apart. If they got along, no one would have to worry about it. And if I were to tell you about these girls the way that they really are, I and they would sound insane. So I'm not. I'm telling you in a way that'll lessen the madness. It's hard when they're always contradicting each other. It hard to argue with all of them at once. It's hard to argue with 12 minds who share no similarities in what they want and how they are. It's hard to convince creativity that she can't do what she wants to do because that's just the way they are. They work as one, and if one can't do it, none of them can. Just how it's hard for creativity to argue with the one that gives up, when she wants nothing to do with giving up.. She wants to do what makes her happy, and her friends refuse. So, the creative piece of these 12 minds gets put to rest. She gets her hopes up. She isn't the sensitive one. She fights back, but always fighting a losing battle, she's learned to stop saying anything. All 12 of these minds seem to be stuck together, and none of them want to be. Love and sadness and sensitivity cry. While the mean one insults their sense of vulnerability. Anger just wants to throw things and punch through walls. Worry argues with them, while also... Worrying. Indifference sits in the corner picking at her nails, wishing she'd dissolve into the wall. The heart wails over everyone else. Exhaustion lies on the ground, her drool a puddle on the floor. Anger has to step around her. Conformity agrees with whoever's speaking at the time to avoid further conflict. They're all together, they all want to leave, but they're all stuck. They all share one brain. One full of hope, and sadness, and pain, and happiness, and creativity, and attitude. They've all accepted this is their situation now, and that all twelve of them will continue their fight for the sake of how different they are. But in the end, they stem from the same tree. Together, they are the one that's scared. Anger is afraid of what it means to not be angry anymore. To accept that she's at fault. Sensitivity is afraid that no one loves her. Or worse, that no one likes her. Conformity is afraid of what it means to get what she wants at the expense of someone else. Exhaustion is afraid of always feeling exhausted. Indifference is afraid that she really will dissolve into the wall one of these days. The heart is afraid she'll never stop bleeding. The one who never filters her words is afraid she's pushed everyone away. Love is afraid she'll never find anyone like her. Confidence is afraid to falter. Creativity? She's afraid to be held back. Especially at her own expense. And Worry? well she's afraid of everything. She sits at her own control panel while the others fight over their one joystick. Exhaustion has a singular button on the floor that she presses when she grows tired of listening to them all. It shuts all the lights off, and they finally quiet down. Exhaustion gets the time she needs to get up and stretch, and she wakes up creativity who can no longer be held back by the one with no filter, or her own fears. She sits down in the chair and she gets her chance to be the captain of what should be her ship. This is why exhaustion is her favorite. They've often talked about running away together. But neither of the would even if they could. Sometimes in the middle of creativity's turn, Worry sounds her alarms and everyone wakes in a panic. Worry likes that control. Exhaustion lets her have it for a while before turning all the lights off again. Sometimes she wishes she could do it permanently. Indifference agrees. Sensitivity talks in her sleep, in praises to herself as a way of comfort in the midst of this chaos. Or at least that's what Love says it is. Love is Sensitivity's best friend. She protects her. The mean one is the only one who can shut Anger up. Confidence is always giving everyone pep talks. Indifference has no friends, and conformity is everyone's friend. She does what they want her to do. Heart and Worry come as a pair. You can't separate them. You can't separate any of them. Despite their constant screams, their constant arguments, none of them could work without the other. They're all tired of waging this war, but they'd never call a ceasefire. It's their ship. One they'll always share.