Slices Of Life

Guilt

- On the passing of someone you love.

____________________________________________________________________

Is it wrong?

That I am thankful,

I was all lie and smile when I tell you, you are going to be alright, that everything is going to be fine.

Those days you were scared and worried the most.

When all I had was doubt.

Is it wrong?

That I am thankful,

I tried not to cry, even joke around, when your once beating heart was no more, and your warm skin was cold as ice,

Those days that was filled with sadness and lots of crying, how can I cry?

When there is no one trying to be strong for everyone, no one smiling for you.

Is it wrong?

That I am thankful,

I was not there to spend time talking all day long with you, though I may never see that ensuring smile of yours again.

Those days when everyone seems to lose their hope counting the days that you had left.

When I actually can, if I tried.

If it is not wrong ,

Then why do tears fall whenever I think of you?

When I tried not to.

Why does this sorrow lingers?

As if telling the mistakes made.

Why does this heavy feelings grow?

Stopping, only if you are no longer in mind.

And,

Why does this hateful feeling exist?

(17 July 2019)