By Chance

Chapter Eighteen : By Chance

Brady's POV

The sound of footsteps overhead wakes me up. I wish they wouldn't have. I'm so fucking exhausted. I didn't get much sleep, and I couldn't be any less fucking surprised. Finally falling asleep was difficult last night, but not because of the fear I hold for my nightmares or the fact I'm sleeping on a fucking couch.

It's because of her.

I spent the entire night staring into the darkness and regretting ever telling Summer about my unforgivable actions towards an innocent girl. What I did was beyond fucked up, I knew that the second I did it back when I was one arrogant son of a bitch. And I'm so fucking pissed off at myself for making Summer feel like she does towards me.

I scare her. The way she looked at me made me want to tear my fucking eyes out. With one look she made me feel like absolute shit.

There I was, thinking Summer and I made this mysterious connection the night before. Then I fucked it up by telling her one of my darkest secrets.

It's sad, really. How used I am to the feeling of messing everything up. This is definitely not something new in my life. I don't know why I ever thought just casually telling Summer about the time I fucking ruined a girl's life and lied about it for eight years was going to be a breeze.

I really fucking hate myself. I hate who I was in high school. I hate my actions. I hate the way I scared Summer. I hate the situation she is in with Lance. I hate the way I throw pity parties for myself.

I'm so fucking over this. Throwing my blanket off, I walk into the room I once called mine and put on clean clothes. I look at the time. Nine o'clock. Less than two hours of sleep. This day is going to be fucking fantastic.

I meant that sarcastically, but today actually will be fucking fantastic. Kaine and Gracie are supposed to get here around noon. They plan to leave here early Monday morning, and I'm so excited to spend time with them. I miss them so fucking much.

Once my teeth are brushed and I'm finish getting myself ready, I walk up the stairs, ready to feel the most awkward tension of my life. I find Summer in the kitchen, sweating and wearing workout clothes. An inappropriate time to notice, I know that, but she looks good as hell in leggings. Her eyes widen at my presence, clearly showing she's surprised to see me. Surprised or scared? I really fucking hope it's not the latter.

I force myself to keep my eyes down, not sure whether to talk or not. I'll let her decide.

"You look like crap," she breaks the ice as I reach up to grab a coffee mug. She's definitely talking about the bags under my eyes. I look totally fucking exhausted, which I am. I could probably fall asleep standing up right here.

"Thanks." I don't look at her when I say this. I feel really fucking embarrassed about what she knows about me.

"I was kidding. I just meant it like-"

I quickly glance her way. "I know," I interrupt her. I start making some coffee as I put some toast down. I'm going to do a quick gym workout before Kaine and Gracie get here.

There isn't another word said as we both finish our breakfasts. We both don't really know what to say. I can't apologize because there's nothing to say sorry for, not to Summer at least. And she is probably still thinking about the story, and I'm just going to respect that and let her be quiet.

I hurry my way down to my room, grabbing headphones and workout gear before taking my keys and leaving. "Lock the door behind me," is all I say before getting into my Jeep and driving away.

__________

I brush past Summer in the living room when I get home from my workout. I went way harder than planned. I was just going to do some light work because my body still aches from yesterday, but once I was there I couldn't stop.